Author's note: There are going to be elements where I had inserted the parts where it does mentioned about the Christianity parts for the very first time on my personal blog here via Blogspot therefore you got to truly take it easy on me as this is my very first time doing this an older Fan fiction writer who does went through the waves of changes in her very own life obviously.
Anyway, this is the forth chapter of my very first Lolex Fan fiction.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the respective pictures and none of them are mine.
Credits goes to Logan Sargeant (Obviously); Alex Albon; P*ntr*st and also to everyone else whom they did worked their magic behind the scenes both in person and online as well.
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X: @GoAllisha
Tumblr: https://aggold15hi01.tumblr.com/
Saturday- 3rd Free practice and qualifying day
The next morning; after preparing for the day and having a delicious breakfast with my trainer; we both headed out to the race paddock where I am praying and hoping Alex is going to be at the race paddock today and thankfully there he is; wearing the same civilian attire I am now sporting as well except the only differences are he didn't worn his cap which reveals his black short hair with brown tip highlights while I on the other hand; did worn my cap in a classic way despite how this morning I wanted to wear it in a backward way.
"Morning Logan." He said to me sleepily while I am walking quietly towards the motorhome.
"Morning: Alex, how do you sleep?"
"I did slept well; thanks. You?"
"I did slept well too, thanks." I replied with a nod while letting out a yawn before looking at him with a concerned face, feeling the waves of concern now washes over me mentally; emotionally and spiritually as well.
"Good, I had heard you are going to take both my seat and my car as well."
"Aren't you supposed to be feeling jealous?" I ask, now feeling scared thus I knew if I had taken his car and his seat; this does feels as a 'true' sign of betrayal especially when we are taking about the part where unfortunately taking his seat and his car does feels as if it is a 'true' sign of betrayal as well.
"What?" He ask me, while he is truly feeling confused.
"Oh, I'm sorry . . . I'm worried you are truthfully feeling jealous of me; obviously." I replied; now sounding truthfully worried about how he is going truly react towards me as well.
"Erm, no . . . man; why would I be jealous of you? I am feeling happy you get the chance to truly drive the car for the very first time in your very own career."
"I don't know, man; I am feeling worried if you are feeling truthfully jealous of me obviously." I replied, now feeling scared just as when I am leaning against an invisible wall while I am experiencing the 'true' feeling of becoming a shrinking violet as well.
"Oh come on; man. You're being such a Debbie downer and a worrier; Logie man." He said; using my nickname but say it as 'Logie man' instead of the classic usual 'Logie Bear' which at first it does feels embarrassing for me to have a nickname like Logie Bear but after a while; I had became grown towards the nick name 'Logie bear' and 'Logie' plus 'Log' as well 'Lo Sarge'; 'Sarge' and a strangely weird but oddly enough there is another nickname which I hadn't thought about it and then from what I had heard; the same blogger fan also used to call me 'Lolo Sargeant' as well as a secret code but stopped after a while she did felt it is truthfully childish of her to call me that nickname.
""I know, I am so sorry about that; Alex. But I am feeling truthfully worried about you."
"Don't worry, I'll be fine on the sidelines; man I'd think you should worry about yourself; man."
"Yeah, but what if I couldn't do it on my own; man? I mean I felt as if there is no way I can possibly do this on my own; Alex." I protested while I am feeling truthfully scared of doing this on my own without the help from Alex.
When he stared at me with a genuinely shell-shocked look on his face: I did told him with a follow up sentence which I did spoke about it out of fear ever since I know he (Alex) isn't going truly to be there for me ever since his car had been severely demolished from Friday's crash.
"Like what if I couldn't do it on my own; man." I added while staring at him with nothing but stares of dejection; fear and denial of how it does going to truly sucks without his (Alex's) presence; encouragement and his leadership ever since I know he is the one man who can definitely lead the way from both the backcourt and the front court as well.
"Plus don't ask this question; man." He protested to me while placing his hand on my right shoulder as he looks at me a similar facial expression on his face with a mixture of sadness; dejection and hurt about how I didn't want to do this on my own not especially without my team mate who had a few years of experience back when he was with R*d B*ll Team.
Plus when they did dropped him; it is truly unbelievable of them (R*d B*ll Team) to drop Alex out of nowhere after he had shared that story with me back when we are in Singapore 2023.
"I know you are going to do this; man." Alex added while he stares at me with nothing but fire and flames of encouragement in his pair of dark brown eyes to let me know that I can definitely do this all by myself without either his help or his presence on the grid.
"Are you sure about this; Alex?"
"Yes, Logie--you can do this; Logs."
"But I--" I protested except Ben interrupts me gently by giving me a reminder of if I stayed longer at the paddock with Alex then I could miss out the both third free practice and qualification as well which I didn't realize I needed to go right now.
"Logan; I'd think you should get going now. They need you for the third free practice; Log." Ben added while placing my hand on my left shoulder since my right shoulder is taken by Alex's hand.
"Okay; I better get going; Alex. Take care and see you then; Alex."
"Yeah, see you then; Logs."
"See you then; Alex."
As we both parted ways; I head to my respective motorhome with Ben while Alex too also head off on his own but to his own respective motorhome as well.
-
As I prepare for the third free practice by training with Ben: I also quietly made prayers to truthfully thank god not only for the opportunity but to also get the chance to prove myself that I can do well at both the practice and the qualification but I still have doubts on how I am going to truly perform on both therefore I am going to take a deep breath to calm myself down from all of the nerves; the anxiousness and also all of the burdens I am now truthfully experiencing it as my pair of hands are now shaking with numbness while I am now listening to Rogyr's 5 a.m through my pair of space grey Airpod Max headphones which I did discovered it from a now re-uploaded Hawaii road trip playlist which it supposed to be match the 4-hour long video of having to truly drive around the island of Oahu, Hawaii.
After that; I too kept praying as well to god on how do I need to perform well; whether we are either talking about either getting into top 5; top 10 or even just finishing it out without either crashing or a DNF then this is what I do needed to do realistically.
"Are you okay?" Ask Ben while I am now putting on my pair of earplugs onto my pair of ears after removing the Airpod Max from my pair of ears.
"I am feeling okay but I am feeling more nervous too as well." I replied; sounding more timid than excited, i felt as if I wanted to let Alex take my place and yet all I wanted to do is truly change out of my racing attire to my civilian attire then either head off to home, Florida; Bali, Indonesia or yet; head to Hawaii and then change my name to let no one recognizes me.
"Don't worry, kid; you are going to do well; Logie." he replied while giving me a hug after I put everything on my head and then after I slip my gloves on my pair of hands; he decided to give me a huge before I head off into the car as well where I take a deep breath to stay focused on the practice run.
"Don't worry; kid you are going to do well; Logie." The voice of Ben rings in my head while I went out into the race track.
-
On the third free practice; I did gotten p14 which does feels disappointing however at least I still managed to prove myself that I can do just about anything in my whole life.
As I went into my garage; Alex saw me and said to me while exchanging a secret hand shake we both exchanged: "Hey; P14--well done!"
"Oh yeah, thank you." I replied; sounding more meek than joyful and happy.
"You're okay, man?"
"Yeah, I'm okay." I replied softly while I am walking to the back of my garage too as well.
-
Despite how qualifying is up next; there isn't any more time for me to dwell on the disappointment ever since I need to put in more focus onto the qualification now ever since I already need to prove to them that I can give them a strong performance based on how I can perform at the qualification as well as the race thus I do needed a strong performance not just only for both the team and James but for myself too as well if I wish to truly retain the seat for the next season as well.
Plus it is going to be challenge but I am hoping I can do well in the qualification part and who knows, maybe I can enter the second qualification session and then perhaps I can sneak into the third session as well.
~ Qualification
When I went out to the race track from the pit lane; I an feeling truthfully nervous just as when I am driving out on the race track; I have to be careful because the last thing I did wanted to do is to definitely destroy the car just as how Alex already had destroyed his car and now we only have one single car left in a really good condition with an undamaged chassis so I do have to very carefully drive out there.
Despite how I did managed to drive carefully; however the bad news is that I only managed to qualify in p19 which was a 'okay' performance but still; it was terrible and it wasn't enough unfortunately and I am feeling unhappy with the way I had performed in qualification; I don't know is it either because of the traffic or is it because of the yellow flag and the safety car as well therefore this is where I did ended up in P19 which is the very bottom and also equally the last position of the grid line up; I am both feeling frustrated plus upset and I am feeling truthfully hurt and unhappy about the performance I had brought it out in qualification.
As I got out of the car as carefully as possible; I even let out a low moan of an 'Ugh' which I usually seldom said it however because of how the way I had performed in the qualification session then I possibly need to learn how to improve myself on my driving though.
"You okay?" Ben ask me while I take off everything from my head very carefully.
'Not really though . . . I mean I wish but I am not feeling happy with the way I perform; Ben." I replied dejectedly while removing my pair of ear plugs as well.
"I'm sorry to hear that from you, Logan." He replied to me while giving me a well-deserved hug as well; just to let me know that if I did fail something I always wanted do every now and then on one day then I can always try again by the next day as well as having to truly trust the process too as well based on how I can learn how truly bounce back from my failures and yet having to truly learn how to truly look at the failures and errors as nothing but a stepping stone to the success instead of having to look at it as nothing but setbacks which does holds me back from having to pursue my own dreams and endeavors based on what do I want to truly do in my very own life.
"I know, but . . . what can I do; Ben? I did felt as if I am letting everyone down all because of what I had done during the qualifying session today not to mention that all I can do is to only finish P19 and yet missing out Q2 as well." I moaned as I lean on his shoulder to cry on; right now: I did felt as if I am not being good enough for both the team and James as well.
Heck, even Alex; Ben and all of my family members would have been feeling so disappointed in me too as well.
"I know but you know great things does takes greater time and a much greater process; Logs. Thus it does takes ages for me too to definitely let myself know that there is more to life than just winning ever since I had been in your shoes before back in my days when I was still a rugby player." He said to me while I am still continuing crying.
After I have no more tears left to cry; I ask him:
"Really? You think so?"
"Yes, exactly; my Logs. I knew that you can definitely do this even if you are unable to; don't worry, you know your time would come; I promise." He said to me while he held onto me and I look up at my trainer who had been with me for a very long time.
"Oh wow, thank you." I whisper to Ben while I too kept holding onto him; feeling truly afraid that perhaps that if he does truly lets me go then all of the sudden; I did felt as if I am being blown by the storm mentally, emotionally and spiritually as well.
"No problem; now you go get changed plus let's head back to the hotel and go get rested up; Logan." He replied to me just as when he is letting me go.
Plus when he remove his arms from hugging me; I did felt truthfully scared and nervous about how am I truthfully going to do without him especially without the steady waves of both the support and the encouragement from Ben; whom he isn't just only trainer for a very long time.
He too is my second older brother; my uncle and also my best friend whom I hadn't expected him to be for a very long time and yet too is my mentor and sensei too as well.
After all; sometimes you may never know when you do needed a person who can be your 'true' and unconditionally your very own life support especially when we are talking about how you do needed more help and encouragement from the other person when you are being knocked down by both the universe and also your very own inner demons as well who would do anything to truly sabotage you and yet having to let you know that you aren't going to be good enough in general that is.
Plus after god, my family and friends whom I did made along the way plus Alex as well as Gaetan and ao many different people I met along the way as well; Ben is also the person whom I can always look up to for both the unconditional waves of encouragement and support as well ever since we all have went through countless ups and downs in our very own life based on what exactly are we going through.
And yet too; they are the waves of love too especially both sincere and unconditional love I have truly experience it in my very own life for a very long time from them as well.
As I head back to the motorhome to truly get changed then we both returned back to the hotel in silence; resuming our normal schedule on exploring the city; having dinner and then more exploring before we call it a night.
*Author's note: Also, I wanted to do more Lolex fan fictions but not so much about racing obviously or even anything with the racing side obviously. Maybe more so on the different side--like surfing in Hawaii I would say? Or maybe a reunion of Lolex in the island of Oahu; Hawaii where Alex gets to reunite with Logan for the very first time and yet he is going to stay there as a room mate of his during the summer break from all of the F1 racing contents as well as the practices and the qualifications plus the sprint contents too as well. Then this is where the both of them going surfing together and yet Logan plays as a tour guide to Alex while the both of them [Mostly Alex] explores the island of Oahu; Hawaii with the guidance and help from Logan Sargeant obviously as they both explore the island of Oahu; Hawaii.
