Disclaimer: All of the events thoughts mentioned below are entirely based on my own thoughts alone and all of the events are reflected from all of the real life events I had experienced it before in addition to the struggles I do have with social media as well.
Trigger warning: Mentions of abuse and traumatic events she (The author) had to went through in real life, separation and also R*l*y Wh*t*ll which I didn't look at Logan in the same way unfortunately after the way people would be feeling truthfully 'okay' with the way they think it is okay publicize and tolerate someone like R*l*y Wh*t*ll plus perhaps false information allegedly about Logan's relationship with R*l*y Wh*t*ll--I'd think.
*RL- Real life
T*mblr: https://aggold15hi01.tumblr.com/
X: @Lolexer223
Aloha,
Happy 2025 to those who are celebrating the new year despite how we are only 13 days in the new year of 2025 and honestly, sorry if this post does felt as if this is an actual void filler for my personal blog ever since it does feels challenging to definitely write this personal life update and honestly, I'm sorry if this does take me so long ever since I did felt as if my writing had became more and more stagnant these days ever since I did felt as if my writing had become less of a hobby and more of a job I do have to fulfill the actual void to search for a way to break the silence on why am I being away to be honest.
Thus honestly, this is one of the hardest post I do have to do it on my personal blog ever since it has been a long while I had last posted an actual post on my very own personal blog and already I had posted my last post on December 2024 except it does actually feels as when I managed to summon up an actual post which are either from either decades ago, years ago or perhaps ages just as in centuries ago.
Look, I know this is a very difficult post to do it ever since it has been a long since I had last posted my last post on my personal blog which is back in December 2024 however it still feels like as when I did posted something from a century ago to be honest.
Firstly, I am not going to do any of my writing projects for a period of time because unfortunately; I did noticed how my writing had became so stagnant to the point where I did felt as if I am feeling truthfully drained by the true part where I did felt as if I am doing the writing for other people and less for me to be honest which I know it does truthfully sounds surely selfish and uptight about this part where we do have to come up with writing ideas where we do have to possibly think about what does other people wanted to read the type of story do they want to read and also the part where your post can definitely pop up on the algorithm home page on social media platforms plus it does feels truthfully irritating especially when we are truthfully talking about the part where it does feels as when it is all too similar to both a popularity contest where whoever does gets the most amount of the "Likes"; "comments" and also the "highest" number of followers and subscribers in addition to who gets the most notification and honestly, it does feels truthfully draining especially when it is all too similar to a sports competition on a F1 race, a Basketball game or even a surf competition where we all are competing for a win in either the games or the races to be honest plus it too also has a similar vibes to both a surf competition and a sailing competition as well.
Not to mention you are also putting too much focus on getting all of the attention and the validation when you did wanted to get noticed by others whenever you go unnoticed and when people didn't notice anything about you then you decided to post more which does feels truthfully frustrating in both cases dejectedly to be honest as it does feels more of a 'lose-lose' situation between all parties to be honest.
Plus this is a personal experience I did had to went through sometimes whenever I am logging into one of social media platform where I am usually active at there.
And I truthfully hated the part where we all are competing for the most amount of 'likes', 'comments'; 'reblogs'/ 'repost' and also who has the highest number of both the subscribers and the number of the most followers plus who also had a post which had gone viral to be honest and honestly; I truthfully hated that part of having a social media account to be honest and yes, this also applies to P*nt*r*st as well despite how people kept on saying 'P*nt*r*st is one of the "Most positive" social media platform where I do have to truthfully agree to disagree with the part where they kept on saying P*nt*r*st is one of the most positive platform ever since I did felt it does have a similar energy to a social media platform just like Inst*gr*m or 2Ts to be honest.
Anyway, sorry about the long hiatus again and honestly, speaking of long hiatus as online breaks from *the social media platforms especially both X and Tumblr where I needless to say, I do spend most of my time there.
(*Except for both YT and Blogspot as I truthfully don't count the both of them as actual social media platforms because I don't consider both YT and Blogspot as a social media platforms at all; everyone.)
Secondly, it does feels very hard for me to say this out loud but honestly, I do noticed how I am feeling genuinely unhappy these days especially how I am always dismissing all of the important problems I do truthfully have to sincerely face it in my very own life however it does truthfully making me feeling truthfully and equally feeling genuinely plus intensely emotionally livid and upset to definitely say this but I truthfully hated so many people would always tried to tell us about how we should be dismissing all of our very own problems in our very own individual lives by having to put our attention on elsewhere just so we can truthfully dismiss all our problems in our very own lives and I truthfully hated doing it so in order to make myself feeling better when realistically all it does truthfully make it feeling even much morse than you would possibly think to be honest.
Anyway, I know no one wants to definitely face the problems we do have to face it in our very own lives, naturally it does truthfully frustrating to definitely just ignore the problems, pretend to let it all disappear altogether while we are putting all our attention into something else and yet having to truthfully pray, making a wish and definitely hoping to let all of our life problems just to undoubtedly let it all go away and magically disappear altogether. (**When I wrote that part, I do truthfully realized I did felt unguarded about opening it up emotionally on my personal blog here.)
Plus yes, unfortunately; I do always truthfully dismiss all of my own life problems by having to sincerely ignore them altogether and putting all of the attention into something just to only ignore and dismiss all of my very own life problems from life when it didn't actually worked out instead just as what everyone does in their very own life to be honest and to be indisputably vulnerable from what I am typing out here during the process of this particular life update blog post I am now typing it out on this particular life update post on my personal blog here.
Also, this is an actual post where I did felt positively unguarded about my own feelings for the very first ever since I am not typically the type of person whom I do open myself up on here however after a confrontation between an older estranged family member whom she is also my boss as well as my manager if the current workplace where I am now currently working at the estranged family's owned business where I do have to work with her ever since late 2015 to early 2016 as the very beginning and I do have to admit, it does feels challenging especially when you do have to truthfully hide all of your very own "true" feelings to definitely pretend everything is all okay and stuff as a matter of fact and yet having to work five days per week (Yes, I am speaking about this from my very own personal experience I do have to truthfully went through it in my very own life and yet people don't sincerely understood what exactly I am speaking about as an actual receptionist who is indeed working at an actual family owned business at an actual Traditional Chinese Clinic where it is a family owned business and it is run by the family members as admittedly, I am speaking the truth from my very own personal experience here as a matter if fact based on what exactly I am speaking about here to be honest.) And the only days off are only on both Wednesdays which is in the middle of the week and Sundays which are typically our days off to be honest had confronted both me and a younger male estranged family member whom he had been feeling intensely triggered and angered by how I am giving him a triggering emotion while I am just walking by to get something then he suddenly threw all of my remaining dirty laundry onto the floor and yet bangs on the door of the bedroom where I am now currently at as a current refuge (As there are actually sleeping arrangements where he does felt truly get angered by how I am causing so much noise that before I have to move to the downstairs bedroom, he had even roared at me to 'Go back to sleep' just as back when I am using the now vacant upstairs bathroom [Thus upstairs now is an actual 'No go' zone for me at the semi detached where we are now currently living at] Which is located at the current vacant upstairs bedroom at the present house where we are now living at and before that event takes place of how he had roared to me to 'Go back to sleep' angrily and loudly at the same time, he too had complained to both of the estranged parents about how he is actually feeling gravely upset about how I did kept slamming the bathroom room just as when he was sleeping in his very own bedroom which is located now next to the present vacant bedroom where I used to slept there before the sleeping arrangement on where I am now sleeping at the downstairs bedroom where I am now currently sleeping at there permanently (?) until I can properly think about leaving both the semi detached house where I am forced to choose the property just for them back when we are actually living at the old house plus to this very day, I am still feeling both deeply and genuinely traumatized by all of those events in addition to an event on ***how another older birth estranged family member whom they did actually tried to elbow me by using the right elbow at the walk in wardrobe area for having to truthfully lied to him to be honest. (***Sorry, I couldn't remember it too much though since it has been a long while and my memory has becoming more and more vague indeed whenever I am speaking about those traumatizing events I had to went through in my very own life.)
Plus, speaking of traumatic events in my very own life, another traumatic event I do have to truthfully went through in my very own life is another event on how the same younger birth estranged family member had also stormed downstairs towards the kitchen where he had been feeling genuinely and gravely feeling upset, angered and hurt by the way I had spoke way too loudly out of both anger and upset-ness yet impatience as well this is where everyone had been feeling genuinely upset with how I had been acting out of nowhere plus disrupting their peaceful afternoon nap plus this is also the same day where I also had discovered a hidden little hut where I did used to walk to over there until I had lost the set of house keys to the new house and now there is no way they give me another set of copy of the house keys therefore as a punishment, I no longer get to walk over there obviously and unfortunately.
Not to mention they'll also definitely take all of my gadgets and destroy them into millions, billions and trillions of little fragment pieces where they'll not only watch me suffer permanently without my technology and gadgets plus to this day, I am feeling genuinely feeling internally both angered and upset about how this younger person had added the word "And the iPad" as well just as when they all are confronting me about why I am feeling so angered; upset and impatient about how the older family member does have to do all of the cleaning for the now vacant upstairs bedroom.
Plus the event I had mentioned it earlier does takes place just before the official 2023 Lunar New Year had taken place indeed and yes, although I am a 28 year old Chinese woman whom sorrowfully, she does have to unconditionally continue to live with her own birth and estranged family for a very long time at a semi detached house glumly however I do truthfully hated Lunar New Year so much to the point where I do actually preferred Christmas over Lunar New Year since Lunar New Year is one of the most depressing times I did had to went through in my very own life just to be instantly and admittedly sure just as when I am typing this out.
Oh and another traumatic two events I have to truthfully experienced are also the one where during the time when I am still sleeping at the same now vacant upstairs bedroom, he too also got the same feeling of how he had been genuinely upset and angered as he did banged on the vacant upstairs bedroom door so loud that one of the older estranged family member had to step in and let me know we have to move to the shop immediately for safety reasons however the other older estranged family member whom we had an unconditionally on and off relationship where it had gotten to the point where I did spoke about heartbreak now had truthfully disagreed about the idea on how the women get to move to the shop and the men had to stay at the house and I too am feeling genuinely and gravely infuriated at the part where he (*The older member) had disagreed about the part where the women had to move out to the shop for safety reason. Stupid moron.
Plus back to the one I had to experienced it last year on how I had triggered the estranged younger member by giving him an offensive expression on my face while he is now sitting at the dining room where it is only across from the current downstairs bedroom where I am now staying at permanently[?] And when he did noticed it, he did go out to threw the remaining dirty laundry I had in the laundry basket onto the floor and banged on the bedroom door very loudly to the point where she had to confront the both of us on what had happened with a loud slam from the metal bowl she had banged on the floor with a loud 'banging' sound and after confronting me about my behaviors, I did truthfully managed to truthfully tell her the truth that I am not going to possibly change anytime soon then I did remembered she went to the kitchen where she had even yelled at him out of anger on how she was feeling truthfully angered, hurt and upset all at the same time about how he thinks it is truthfully okay to physically abuse me every now and then ever since when he was born into this harsh and cruel world and as a baby, it does truthfully angers me and hurts me about why would he wanted to hit me ever since he was a very young baby and worse, about how they would use manifestation to this day as well.
To add the insult into the wound, it also led to an actual separation between both of the older members where he used the same silver bowl where she had slammed it on the floor to confront me on the situation between me and him, then the older member used it but this time to hit her physically on the side where she had resort to staying at the shop and yet having to plan on shutting it down altogether and yet having to truthfully leave me on my own and worse, he (Again, the older estranged family member whom I do have a close relationship with this person to this very day.) had changed his behavior as well as he had stopped becoming the man I used to know him when I was a young kid and he had became so different to the point where I don't recognize him anymore and I have to step in to rescue their relationship to be reunite them altogether and to this day I do truthfully hated it to this day to be honest despite how I am the eldest daughter of the family, ugh.
Plus I do have to admit, this is a long post where I had became both unguarded and vulnerable as I am opening up myself onto this particular post indeed.
Also, I'm sorry if I can't be the type of person you can actually expect me to be honest and I know this is a really long and an unguarded post where I get to open myself up onto the traumatic life events I do had to experience it in my very own life and the part about why I won't be doing any of my writing projects anytime soon ever since I did felt as when I did felt as if I am genuinely no longer having fun whenever I am doing a writing project indeed.
Also, the birthday post to Logan Sargeant on T*mblr will be both potentially and allegedly be my one and final post about Logan Sargeant ever since I did truthfully felt genuine heartbreak about how he is continuing dating, hanging and keeping in touch with R*l*y Wh*t*ll whom I truthfully and hated her so strongly to the point where I did felt as if I do have a 'true' vendetta against her [R^l*y W.] and yet to add the insult into the wound, she too is also a republican as well which did surprises me since there are so many Logan fans whom they too hated her as well and I may think they have too dug up the evidence as well online on both Logan and R^l*y.
Although I am happy for Logan though, but I do preferred to see him being single, living his best life and feeling equally happy all at the same time ever since I really don't think he should have a relationship unless if he is willing to do it so but dejectedly, this is his own choice as there is nothing I can possibly do about it.
However I am not going to delete anything with Logan since too many of them are too precious to be deleted permanently as they are truthfully hard to restore them once they are permanently deleted as they did disappeared for good and it is truthfully hard to restore it.
I'll be keeping them for now until I can definitely rebuild myself up again to be honest.
On a lighter note, I'll continue posting and running both of the blogs until my very final breath of life plus I'll be only sharing the links on the post from my personal blog via Blogspot on T*mblr since T*mblr had issues nowadays to the actual point I do needed to draw the line between me and them plus I truthfully don't know if they are going to fix it however it is both truthfully and unlikely T*mblr will fix the issues they have it persisting; frustrating.
Plus I truthfully don't know what are the outcome on both the near and the distant future on anything in general however all I know is that I'll continue posting the posts I wanted to do it on here since I do have so many posts I wanted to post it on here since Blogspot is one of the platforms where I did felt it is very similar to T*mblr however unlike T*mblr, Blogspot is where I can actually post anything I want to share to be honest.
Also, on a different note: I may not going to be fully active on my Blogspot as I would like to be as I can't undeniably guarantee any actual promises for now however I'll try my best to definitely post a brand new post whenever I can get the actual time to post it indeed.
On a different note, no offense to those who does actually love the winter season officially indeed: I'll say I am so sorry to say this but I am 'officially an anti winter woman' for real both in person and online since winter surely sucks in my own opinion due to the early darkness and the lack of sunlight so I am so sorry about that plus more power to you if you do loved the winter season and no 'true' offense to you in general if you are a person who does interact with my personal blog via Blogspot and reads the blog post over here as perhaps if you do love the winter season then more power to you since I am much more of a 'true' spring and summer season type of woman due to how there is a longer amount of sunlight and yet, imaginatively plus literally living in the island of Oahu, Hawaii in my own imagination.
Anyway, please take really good care of yourself; make sure you go out to get in touch with nature, go offline for a while; and focus on you.
Good luck and I'll see you on the other side.
