"A deep tough and a painful separation is much more better than a deep and a toxic and yet an equally abusive relationship between you and the other person." ~Unknown (This is a quote I actually made on my own by the way)
Author's note: This life update is deeply reflected from the writer's own point of view alone additionally this is heavily relied and based on her own personal experience she had went through in her very own life therefore please be respectful and be kind whenever you are interacting with this blog and also reading this personal blog post on my personal blog.
Plus all of the family members names (My family members that is) have their real names changed on this particular post due to a privacy concern and no, I am not doing anything to truthfully put them into any weight of shame and blame plus no offense to everybody who is reading this post as I am changing their names due to a number of privacy concerns as well as having to truthfully hide their "true" identity as well.
Plus this is the first part in this two part life update post ever since I may have to do a second part due to how long and lengthy post it is to be honest.
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Aloha,
I know this isn't the life update I wanted to do but it is what it is.
One of the things I did truly hated doing in my very own life is to truthfully wake up at six in the morning so the next time if anyone or anybody ask me to wake up at six in the morning; I am not going to be feeling truthfully very happy camper at this point in my very own life; everybody.
And as you know, I don't very often enjoyed the idea of having the idea of waking up very early in the morning especially six o' clock in the morning plus this is the reason why I usually don't do very well with mornings additionally if you ever ask me what time do I prefer to ideally wake up--I would say I prefer to wake up at anytime but not at 6 a.m or six o' clock in the morning and if you ever did; then I am not going to be a very happy camper to be honest everybody.
No offense to everybody who is truly reading this post but the reason why I truly hated waking up at 6 a.m/ six o' clock in the morning; it is mostly because already I am feeling deeply traumatized from having to wake up at 6 a.m/ six in the morning to head to school and yet having to face the morning traffic jams; a very long; tough and a boring day at school and yet to have this re-enacted with work this time? It is way too awful and already: I am getting deeply, truthfully and equally fed up; tired; angry and upset with the way we have to truthfully experience bad neighbors and what is even worse is that one of the neighbors had spoken to my now estranged family about how I am creating so much noise and yet this had been happening so much to the point where she had became so scared all due to the reason of how I am being so loud late at night and already I am feeling even more pissed off by the stupid neighbors and so much of their complaints to the point where I not only felt as if I am becoming very much of villain towards them but I also wanted to move elsewhere where I can actually stay away from people from good despite how it may be a realistically long and a tough process to simply live elsewhere but not Cyber Success to be honest in my own opinion.
Plus speaking of; I am not feeling very happy with how my life had been lately ever since I had been feeling as if I am genuinely/ truthfully/ truly/ actually procrastinating on my very own life for a very long time and honestly; this isn't anything new for me as I already had experienced this type of behavior before as I did so many procrastinating in my very own life before and what is even worse is that I still have to continue the people pleasing type of behavior in front of both of my birth and estranged parents plus already: I am just feeling deeply exhausted about how I am truthfully be living in their shadows and all plus having to be the eldest child whom she does have a neurotic disability ever since she was younger is one of the worst things I did have to very much went through in my very own life additionally being an eldest child of the family isn't always the easiest part to do when you are not only the eldest of the family but you are also a person who is suffers from a neurotic disorder and honestly, this isn't something I am truthfully joking about as you know I am the one and only eldest child of my very own estranged family of two and I am the one who did suffered from a neurotic disorder as well, everyone.
Anyway, so one of my family members: Chad who he is my younger sibling isn't feeling very happy with the way I had been causing so much noise very late at night especially with the middle of the night frequent bathroom breaks I did have to go and honestly; it not only makes him feeling very uncomfortable but he also got feeling very upset and angry about how I had been using the bathroom several times which is just next to his bedroom and honestly, I even remember very clearly when he not only chases me to my room but he also bangs on the door with the laundry basket that I did currently used it to bang onto my bedroom door additionally to add the deep insult into the wound; he too had given me a warning that he would definitely beat me up for real and I am not feeling both genuinely and deeply safe about having to live in a very toxic home environment where **the people would have a very toxic energy towards you additionally they not only brought more harm towards you than any good towards you additionally when you do have a deep and a toxic relationship with them--the only way you can only do is to definitely start planning your escape plan by learning how to keep yourself out of trouble permanently additionally having to start planning out your very own escape plan additionally having to simply run, stay away from them; don't look back onto them permanently and yet having to keep a very minimal to definitely not having any proper contact with them for good.
