Author's note: I have decided to post this up on my personal blog in different parts therefore this is my first time posting a different post on my personal blog therefore please take it easy on me since this is my first time posting a Fan made Dallas Wings Dialogue post here.
Also, if you are wondering why I decided to move away from Tumblr to my own personal blog on my Blogspot (Despite having to join force with Google) ever since Tumblr had decided to change their look: I have the post linked down below additionally I have so much writing work to do as well.
Oh and happy 4th July to all of the Americans out there plus Happy Hawaii Day to the Hawaii state on a lighter note. (*Author's note update: I know the 4th July and Hawaii day is truthfully over however I have decided to write it here anyway in the celebration on the month of July to be honest.)
Sorry, I am feeling truthfully yet mentally exhausted lately ever since my nursing job at a Traditional Chinese Medicine as well as my cleaning job plus receptionist and assistant manager and assistant business owner is taking a very big toll on me truthfully and already I felt as if I lost a lot of the motivation I used to have as well having troubles falling asleep at night as my sleep pattern had changed too much lately.
And at times, I always get the authentic feeling of being nervous yet having to experience the true feelings of being scared and numb at my job as a receptionist; a nurse; an assistant manager plus assistant business owner as well as a cleaner all at the same time and already, it is making me feeling truthfully anxious and numb to be honest which is something I never experienced it before that is until this year as in the more recent experience.
I know this is a very hard post for me to share this however I have decided to post it on both blogs anyway ever since I have decided to keep my Tumblr blog now as an archive blog to be honest ever since there are so many people who use Tumblr as a place for them to post their fan fictions as they mostly post it based on what are the best interest they have at heart.
Also, I have two Pinterest profile as one of them is now an archive profile and the other is the main and active profile now.
Disclaimer: This is only (And mainly) a work of a fan work of a fan dialogue therefore there is no need to take it seriously as if this happens in real life.
Also, I don't own the image and the image is not mine.
Credits of image goes to Instagram (One of my least favorite platform); Allisha Gray (Via IG on graytness_15); Satou Sabally (*Via IG) Dallas Wings and Twitter for the image of Satou and Allisha posing together for their 3x3 Qualification competition last year.
My Tumblr: https://aggold15hi01.tumblr.com/
My Tumblr post on why am I leaving Tumblr and a 'Thank you' post as well: https://aggold15hi01.tumblr.com/post/688352955945123840/life-update-mahalo-nui-loa-leaving-tumblr-thank
My Twitter: https://twitter.com/GoallishaPaula
My Pinterest as an archive profile now: https://www.pinterest.com/realmelnyj/_saved/
My main Pinterest as an active profile (Unless stated): https://www.pinterest.com/melissanyjane/_saved/
(*The scene takes place at the Queen Kapiolani Hotel; at the Ocean View King room with two queen sized beds in the room as they have a view of the Diamond Head as well as the Kapiolani Park and the Honolulu Zoo as well.*)
Satou: (*Now sitting on the edge of her bed*) Ow, my knee: my knee is hurting a lot so badly.
Allisha: Yeah, sorry to hear that: my ankle hurts too except I don't know if this hurts too much in particular.
Satou: Oh sorry to hear that, I can't believe Kayla would made a mistake for having to get in your way while letting you trip up on her foot.
Allisha: I know, isn't it? I mean I know she apologizes to me for the mistake she made but I don't know if she will ever truly forgive me. (*Sighs while sitting down on the edge of her bed*)
Satou: (*Sighs and gets up from her bed and walks over to sit next to Allisha on the edge of Allisha's bed*) Oh Lish, you know Kayla is one of the team mates you are very good friends with however when you said that; I don't know whether you and Kayla are in good company of each other or perhaps the both of you are keeping distance from each other.
Allisha: (*Sighs deeply*) I know Satou but what am I going to do? I am feeling as if I am criticizing myself too much; you know that?
Satou: Lish, I know you are truthfully wondering about if you are criticizing too much about yourself however I'd think you are not the only one who had to go through all of that; Lish. Everybody else gone through the same type of experience including me, myself and I--I have been self-criticizing myself before and when I do that; I knew I have to stop criticizing myself or having the urge to beat myself emotionally before it gets any worse to be honest.
Allisha: But how? It's not all that easy to stop abusing yourself.
Satou: (*looks at Allisha and shushes her*) I know it may be hard to stop criticizing yourself however when I spoke with the rookies as well as Teaira about how we need to learn to open ourselves to accept the mistakes we made yet having to stop the urge of both self-criticism as well as having to aim for perfectionism yet having to verbally abuse ourselves on how did we made our mistakes by learning how to acknowledge our own mistakes; for example may be when you are trying to 'steal' the ball from another player however you ended up making a mistake for having a contact with the other player and that's when you pick up a 'true' personal foul on what you have done to be honest.
Allisha: Oh, okay.
Satou: Yes, what I am saying here is not because you want to pick up a personal foul on your team however when the coach explains about the team needs to do the defensive moves however when you tried to do a defensive move but when you ended up picking up a foul by getting too close in contact with a player then this is when you made a mistake by picking up a foul.
Allisha: Oh; okay.
Satou: I know it may be hard not for us to do any mistakes except the sad news is we ended up becoming too hard on ourselves and when we become too hard on ourselves: it does feel as if we are aiming for perfection to be honest.
Allisha: Oh no.
Satou: Oh yes, and when we aim for the perfection; all of the sudden we not only become a changed person (Not as in an overnight change but more so of the psychological change that had been grown over the years.) except . . .
Allisha: The change is not a very good change. (*Shakes head*)
Satou: No, I don't think so. It's just that when you kept aiming for perfectionism; it is hard for a person to break out of this vicious cycle that they have very much go through over and over again as a generational trauma they have to endure when they are very young kids.
Allisha: Oh okay.
Satou: Believe me, Allisha: I am not an expert when it comes to mental health however I'd just think mental health is very important to focus on ever since nowadays I'd think there are so many of us are trying to open up about what are the type of experience that we are very much going through to be honest and having to share it with other people. (It isn't because of their sake nor it is something we are feeling obligated/ pressured to share it with them however it is mostly because we are making our own choices to become truthfully vulnerable with ourselves while having to share the life story that we have to very much go through in our life to be honest.)
Allisha: I agree, thank you.
Satou: Speaking of, do you want to go with me as we sit down by the edge of the swimming pool?
~
(*This is the scene after both of the girls have decided to change into their own pair of bathing suits after heading into the bathroom as Satou wears an elegant coral colored two piece swim wear with a pair of thick straps around the top as a halter type of strap while Allisha wears a sporty black two piece as the top can doubled up as a sports bra and a pair of black running shorts as her swimming attire. Allisha had also decided to wear the navy New York Yankees Cap that she wears during the time when she is injured while sitting next to Satou on the bench as well as recovering her ankle.*)
Satou: So . . . are you ready to head off to the swimming pool?
Allisha: No, I need to tie my long braided hair into a high pony tail first.
Satou: Okay.
A few minutes later . . .
(*Allisha emerges out of the bathroom with her hair tied into a high pony tail and now she is wearing a navy New York Yankee Cap on her head*)
Allisha: Okay, I am ready to go. (*Winks at Satou*)
Satou: (*Finishes tying her sarong up into a skirt and wears her favorite pair of Tortoise Shell sunglass on her face with both of her hands*) Cool, now let's look for beach towel and apply our reef-friendly Coola sun screen.
