Disclaimer: This post is mainly based on my own view plus I am only writing this from my own personal point of view plus this post or any of my post on my blog are not for profit use.
Plus this post is originally written on November 12th then it is written, edited and published on November 13th.
Aloha, and welcome to my very own personal blog I am going to update this is now my official personal blog ever since I had joined Tumblr today plus the link to Tumblr is below just in case if you want to check it out along with my Twitter which now has a new username as well therefore I am going to officially now consider it as my own personal blog here:
Tumblr [Post Fan Fictions and any photos I would like to post it here]: https://aggold15hi01.tumblr.com/
Twitter [Tweets about whatever I say the first thing on my mind or something like that]: https://twitter.com/GoallishaPaula
Credits and link to positivepsychology.com on the information of empathy: https://positivepsychology.com/empathy/
Credits and link to psychologytoday.com on the information of empathy: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/empathy
Anyway, let's get into my very first personal post here. Today is not a very good day for me since firstly there is a patient on a man whom I had ask for the 'C-word' Risk Status however when I ask him kindly; he got annoyed and he told me the application is already simplified plus he only shows the 'Check in' and told me angrily about how they will only change color if you get in close contact with someone who got too close with a person whom he/ she got in contract with the 'C-word'.
Plus this really angers me a lot and then this is when the day started going downhill yet it becomes from an exciting and a good day with a good start in the morning to an awful, terrible; bad and dumb day where the time had started to slow down and I am not feeling very happy with how the way the man treated me this morning and I am ready to simply throw my anger out of nowhere however I am trying to stay out of trouble ever since I got into trouble back during October 3rd for having a fight with mum and I am genuinely/ truly getting sick and tired yet fed up about how we are lacking the character of 'true' empathy; compassion: kindness and acknowledgement/ understanding about what is the other person is going through in his/ her own life based on their own life story on what are they going through in their own life yet it is so easy for us to be judgmental and it is truthfully/ sincerely/ truly/ actually/ realistically hard to be understanding by asking questions based on what we are going through in our own life in particular additionally I know people may be asking the question 'Why is it so hard for us to understand yet it is so easy to be judgmental at times yet it is so hard for us to understand the other persons' story based on what they are going through in particular?'
Plus this is my first time opening myself up in my very own life yet I didn't want to simply just overlook at the pain based on what I am going through in my life yet I wanted to share about something in my very own life hence the reason why I decided to share this very first personal post based on my own real life here.
Whenever we ask this type of question; it is hard/ difficult/ complex/ complicated for us, people to answer the question for the reason that firstly; we don't know why is it so easy for us to be judgmental and to be less understanding about what is the other person is going through in his/ her/ their own life particularly the hard to talk yet the sensitive or rather the burdening topics they wanted to talk about it however they couldn't because of us due to the reason on how we easily judge other people yet we are so quick to be judgmental nevertheless we didn't even understood their story first or rather ask them the question about their own life based on what are they going through unless if we start asking the question to them about their own personal life then they are willing to open up on talking about what are they going through in their own life.
Plus this is where the quote/ phase on 'Don't judge the book by it's cover' is so popular as it is letting us know/ acknowledge/ understand about how we shouldn't be judging other people based on what are they going through in their own life in particular additionally we need to understand that no one is the same--everyone and everybody is very different in this world as we all are very different from one to another thus why would you judge a person when you didn't ask any question about their own life story at first?
Instead of being judgmental towards others by becoming so quick to judge other people yet not acknowledging/ understanding/ knowing as well as having a 'tough' mask that you are wearing on your face; why not ask them the questions about their own life story and let them do all of the talking about their own life story plus vice versa on letting them know/ acknowledge/ understand about your own life story as you wouldn't want to judge a book by it's cover. (Would you? I personally wouldn't.)
Plus this is where the "True" yet the "Crucial" character of empathy and compassion comes in; I am not a psychology expert though as I don't know too much about the whole topic on empathy and compassion therefore I decided to share what I found on the internet anyway.
[Note: I am also going to share the information yet there will be a slight change on what I am explaining it here by using different words and having to use my own words to share the information about what I found online on empathy based on what I have found and I am going to share on the information based on what I have found on their website.]
This is the meaning of empathy according to Merriam-Webster website:
The action of understanding; being aware of: being sensitive to and to vicariously experiencing the feelings; thoughts: and experience of another of either the past or the present without having the feelings; thoughts and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner.
On Psychology Today, this is their words on the meaning of 'Empathy':
Empathy is the ability to recognize; understand/ acknowledge/ know and share the thoughts plus feelings of another person, animal or a *fictional character. (*Author's note: Speaking of fictional character, you know I have been reading a hard cover copy of 'Hurricane summer' by Asha Bromfield whom you known her very well as an actress on playing as Melody Jones who is the drummer for a band called "Josie and the pussycats" from the show called '**Riverdale' [**If you are a Riverdale fan or a person who watches the show then you know what I am talking here for your own information] plus she too is also in a show on Netflix called 'Locke and key' where she play as Zadie Wells at there plus she is also a singer too as well as a writer plus 'Hurricane Summer' is her debut book and I got to say--the story is very heart-warming and touching towards me as an older reader as I know what she is going through in this book while she is in Jamaica while there are some part I couldn't relate to however I still love the book anyway here additionally this is one of the book I recently read and I actually enjoyed it a lot lately ever since I am re-reading it over and over again.)
Plus here is the information on what is empathy and why empathy is so important:
Empathy helps us to cooperate with others; creating a secure and strong relationship by building a friendship: make moral decisions and get involve/ mediate when we see and listen to others on how they are either being bullied or either they are going through an event in their life particularly events where it can be pleasant or unpleasant.
Humans begin to show signs of empathy in infancy and the trait develops overtime as it slowly/ gradually yet steadily grow through the childhood and the adolescence.
The information from Psychology Today on why empathy is so important and how empathy does benefits in relationships:
Empathy can help us with the relationship on the bond and the connection we have with the other person by connecting their experience based on what are the events they are going through in their own life additionally the character of empathy does create a secure and a bond between one person and the other person.
The ability to have the connection between us and the other person on empathy to convey/ provide the support for a partner; relative; friend or a stranger is extremely crucial to establishing and creating a positive bond/ relationship between one person and the other person.
The character of empathy enables us to establish the bond with the other person: making them feel that they are not only being seen but also to be heard as well as they speak up on their own story based on their body language, the words we speak and the emotions we are going through in particular additionally the empathetic ability does help to create a secure and connection between one person and the other person.
It also helps to benefit a romantic relationship as in healthy relationships; people may expect their partners to empathize with them whenever they face a hardship on an event or an experience or a personal struggle they are going through yet when they have the ability to empathize with a partner; they may display the empathy for a partner's positive emotions are five times more beneficial than couples who only empathize their experience or an event by empathizing with the negative emotions did they have.
Plus people who may have the narcissistic personality disorder can exhibit empathy and compassion as although their needs does comes first plus in some studies from researchers believe narcissists can develop greater empathy as well by learning to develop the greater level of self-compassion which can increase their own feelings of security; self-worth and enabling themselves to open up themselves towards others on their own stories here.
However empathy does have the dark side as well therefore it can get really deep yet it can get evolved with a selfish motive as well as here is the information about how empathy can be negative sometimes additionally there are people are do not have any empathy at all yet this is where people who are considered to be 'Psychopath' for having the absence of the 'true' empathy:
Many of us who regularly put the feelings and perspectives on others from their own point of view may experience the feelings of alienation; isolation and emptiness yet it may develop the high level of the anxiety and a low-level depression as psychopath does not feel any empathy yet it can considered to be as a 'Social antenna' on how we can feel empathy so easily yet there are people who do not have any feelings on empathy at all yet they are capable of an empathic accuracy or by correctly inferring the thoughts and feelings of others however they do not have any empathy nor they feel any "True" empathy at all.
Unfortunately there are people who do not completely feel any empathy at all as they are considered to be as a "Psychopath"--and according to the Merriam-Webster: A psychopath is a mentally unstable person especially when one person is having an egocentric and antisocial personality mark by a remorse for one's actions; an absence of empathy of others and often criminal tendencies as well.
Okay, before we go any further; there is something I got to say it out loud on here: "Instead of being a psychopath who is full of ego yet lacking the empathy and compassion as well as having to be full of judgmental yet taking an advantage on the other person; instead--let's be a person who can spread kindness, empathy [Not too much empathy] and a person whom you can rely your trust on [Unless if you get betrayed by the other person then forget the person who betrayed you out of nowhere] yet having the character of 'True' empathy and compassion is extremely important as long as you do not go overboard with the level of empathy which can lead to isolation, emptiness and burn-outs as well."
Plus back to the talk on empathy:
Although having that character of empathy is extremely important however we do not know how having empathy can have it's own disadvantage as well plus sometimes when we put ourselves into someone else's shoes can have the critical consequences on how they can become more and more isolated and having to experience the emptiness and alienation yet it can blind side an individual to their own needs and make them feel much more vulnerable to the people who easily take an advantage of them.
However when we feel too much empathy; there are people who are working as first responders: humanitarian aid workers: doctors, therapists: journalists and other workers who are working at a job where it involves on expressing their own pain and to experience the others' pain can tend to be deeply empathetic additionally it can lead to how they share the heartbreak of the people whom their stories specifically the painful events or rather the negative events they endured in their own life story based on their experience can be extremely painful yet it can lead to burn out additionally this is when they may shut down yet they become less and less willing or they ended becoming less willing to give of themselves.
Wait, there is more information I found out about empathy from a website called positivepsychology.com explaining more about empathy on how psychologists does benefit their psychotherapy session additionally how it can be beneficial for both the therapists and the clients and as a result, they see the difference between a therapist who offers a deep level of empathy towards their clients and a therapist who offers very less empathy due to the lack of knowledge on empathy:
One of the study found that psychotherapy clients look at empathy as 'Empathy as integral to the personal and professional relationship with their clients and their therapists and they believed that the empathetic character from psychotherapist has benefited their bond between their client and the therapist on their session they have between each other.
Some of the specific benefits of empathy listed by clients including greater levels of trust between the clients and the therapists on a greater/ intense level of of self-understanding/ acknowledging for their client as it increase the client's individual level of happiness and security in particular.
While a study used a self-report to measure the level of their findings; it is the clients opinion of psychotherapy is the most important of their own findings therefore the findings they are doing in the self-report to measure the clients on their findings are truthfully relevant/ related/ linked to the purpose/ point.
According to another study interested in psychotherapist empathy examined the number of patients taught from clients to clients with clients who are mostly seeking a therapy for their drinking problem.
The study shows the result of how when the therapist demonstrated more on the level of empathy than how they usually did: the client is less likely to be drinking at the end of the treatment while those who taught less on the level of empathy would have the opposite on how their client would end up more likely to be drinking at the end of the treatment.
As a result; the result of the two different therapist and their clients; while therapist whom does demonstrated more on the level of empathy have their client to less likely to be drinking at the end of their treatment while therapist whom taught less on the level of empathy will have the serious consequences on how their client would likely to be ended up drinking by the end of their treatment.
This shows how the treatment outcome depends on how many different therapists have a very different outcome on how they taught the level of empathy: some of the studies whom they shown that the low level of empathy would lead to how they fail to reduce the drinking problem of their clients when they are offering a very low knowledge or the lack of knowledge on the level of empathy however it can lead to an increase the drinking problem on their client meanwhile therapists who does have a high knowledge or having the deep level of knowledge on the level of empathy would lead to a decrease of the drinking problem as the result.
While empathy is very beneficial from clients; it may too be beneficial for the therapists as well since the fact that general care practitioners who empathize with their patients are more likely to have a higher level of job satisfaction and lower levels of work burnouts compared to the therapists and general care practitioners who do not offer any empathy with their clients.
Although general care practitioners are very different to therapists however the only similarities they have in common are how their job are very similar on their relationships with their clients.
Plus speaking of empathy: there is an information on learning how to develop empathy; this is what I found from Psychology Today on the information:
Developing empathy is crucial for establishing relationships and behaving compassionately however it does involves experiencing from another person's point of view instead of experiencing it from your own point of view: it enables the prosocial or learning to help the behaviors where it comes from within rather than deflecting and forcing the behavior by abandoning/ ignoring/ neglecting the behaviors or events where they have to go through an unpleasant event in their own life.
Plus this is a really long information on empathy however I decided to share it anyway additionally I am going to put the link up for the information here.
Anyway; moving on from there--the question is "where I have been lately?" Ever since I have been missing in action lately on my personal blog here. (Hence the title on "Where I have been lately?" as I put it up as I have been radio silence for a really long period of time away from this blog.)
To answer the question; the answer I have to the question is as my reply: "I have been very busy yet I hadn't got the time to simply to do any type of writing because of how my mental health have been lately plus my mental health is very crucial yet it is so important to take care of myself however I am now still thinking about moving out from the home where I use to live for about seventeen years with my family plus they told me they wanted to move out to somewhere else because firstly, the neighbors have been very gossiping about how my mum runs her very own business as I am working at there as to help her plus I know people are asking me why are we moving out--one of the reason we are moving out is because of the neighbors just being very nosy yet they always want to get into our business as well additionally they are taking an advantage of us in addition to make us feel so bad and look so bad that although we are minding our own business by ignoring the nonsense gossips that they are making it out of the feeling of paranoia and having the obsession of talking about other people as they think they want to make such gossip out of nowhere yet they did take an advantage of us by using us for either nothing or they tried to make themselves look better--already we have customers who unfortunately had take an advantage of us or our business just as when they think we are some type of spa or a massage place however we are a Traditional Chinese Clinic business we are doing.
"Plus another reason we are moving out because 'we' are now growing older as my parents have to now think of a brand new home however instead of letting them choosing the place based on where they want to be; I decided to help them choose where I wanted to be yet I have decided on Cyber Success because honestly; I didn't want to simply feel as if I being so 'Locked up' again and having to feel even more miserable and disappointment at home yet I am feeling very soiled; left out, disappointed and unhappy just as when I am back at Puchong plus by the time when we left our old home, I never want to simply look back at the past yet I just wanted to move on from there and focus on creating a new chapter of my life yet having to become a much more different than who I am before.
And as you got older; you become more and more different over the years as you know you want to simply focus on what you can control in your life; you are now becoming more and more of a person who want to mind your own business and start focusing on what really makes you happy additionally you want to start to become a much more different yet a better person as well in your own life ever since you are not the same person as you are when you are younger during the generations of the past.
You are a very different person when you got older and when you compare your growth on your older current self to your past younger self; then you know there is a difference between the older version of yourself and the younger version of yourself here.
Other than the neighbors who does nothing but kept getting into your business yet they get so nosy about what you are normally doing and having a much bigger and spacious home; we are also moving on from there too because we are planning on a change of scenery and the environment as well since we have decided to move into an environment where the environment does feel different however it helps us to grow and thrive as a human beings learning to adapt into a new environment just like Cyber Success.
Plus finally, the reason we are moving to Cyber Success is also because of how the environment is very different compared to Puchong--Puchong is very much of a small town where everybody knows each other very well yet at times; the houses are rather very small with only a front yard plus the park is actually in front of the house yet you have to cross the road to go to the park however in the house we choose in Cyber Success; one of the reason I like there is when there is a big, spacious and an amazing house where there is full of sunlight during the two season where there are longer daylight hours on spring and summer as well in addition the park is actually located behind the house yet the community is very different in Puchong as well--while the neighbors in Puchong does know each other very well as they normally talk about something--in Cyber Success; the neighbors are very much similar except one of the reasons I think of is how they normally mind their business as they are mostly focused on building their own life and focusing on what they can control, what do they have and having to give support to the family no matter what despite how there may be people who aren't going to change in particular yet we may not know what they are going through--but we can learn to ask them questions about their own life except it may depends on are they willing to share their own story based on what are they going through in their own life."
And those are the reason why we [My family as I am referring to them] are moving from Puchong to Cyber Success.
(Yes, I am now opening myself up and I am now opening up my own life story on here as I am going to consider this blog to be my first and official personal blog where I am going share it here for now as I decided to join back Tumblr on Friday which is on the November 12th as this post is originally written on November 12th however it is updated on November 13th on a Saturday.)
Meanwhile, on other interests; speaking of--I have managed to join back Tumblr in about couple of years because firstly, I am now becoming more and more of a different person now yet back then when I am joining there--I am mostly joining there because of the interests and the fandoms I used to have the best interest at heart yet I am writing Fan Fiction back then as well and then after that; I felt as if my mental health is so messed up that I ended up sadly deleting it however the good news; I am now becoming more and more in control of myself additionally I am presently joining Tumblr now mostly for the interests I have the best interest at heart yet I am now doing it on my own terms and my own personal business yet I am going to stay in my own lane plus most of the interest I have now is becoming more and more diverse as I got back to the few interests I used to enjoyed back then when I was younger.
Instead of simply posting something that I felt comfortable with; I am going to post whatever interest that I like best at heart now yet having to share something that I enjoyed the most plus when it comes to posting Fan Fictions there; I think I am going to post there now mostly yet I am still going post it here as an archive of a Fan Fiction blog that I used to write.
Plus speaking of interests, I am now becoming more and more in love with the WNBA on the Women's basketball ever since the first time I fell in love with it is when I am watching the Washington Mystics back in the past just when one of my favorite players who used to play for Washington Mystics; Ivory Latta is one of those players whom I used to be feel in love then when I got back on the WNBA band wagon Fandom; I am starting to fell in love more and more than before: the game had become more and more different however the team I have been in love now as I am becoming a new fan (More like a fan who had been in love for a while now) of the Dallas Wings which this year had a lot of changes; from having rookies from the beginning of the season to how they may clinch a spot in the play-offs however sadly they lost to Chicago Sky [Except that's okay, I am happy to hear that Chicago Sky won the championship especially when they are facing a very strong team on the Phoenix Mercury whom used to win the championship about three times and Chicago had yet to win a championship ever since they had made to the play-off before additionally it is so nice to see Chicago Sky win the championship this year plus it is also amazing to hear Washington Mystics win their championship back in 2019 before the cursed year--where Seattle Storm won their championship.] in the first round however the good news is that they manage to send their well-wishes and congrats to the Chicago Sky additionally as a new fan of Dallas Wings: I am hoping that they can win their championship one day just as I can feel the similarity to the Rainbow Warriors Men's Volleyball Team on how they are playing back in 2017 before they won a championship in 2021 which is good news for me.
Speaking of becoming a Dallas Wings fan this year: I am also becoming a fan of Allisha Gray as well who is a player from Sandersville, Georgia yet she is a gold medalist this year as she won a gold medal in the 3 x 3 Basketball at the Tokyo Olympics this year as she too is the rookie of year back in 2017 as well plus she used to play for the South Carolina Gamecocks as well as North Carolina Tar Heels before making a transfer to South Carolina for her Junior Sophomore and Senior Year as well plus she is majoring in Broadcast Journalism as well plus she too is a gamer as well thus I'd think you can find her on Twitch as well as I know one of my favorite Hawaii channel is on Twitch as well on Photo Luke Hawaii.
Anyway, I also decided to come back to the Young Justice Fandom as well especially I have heard the good news about season 4 however now the true Young Justice fans now have to kept tweeting to let everybody know about renewing Young Justice for a fifth season. (I think it is too early for a fifth season however I'd think Young Justice will now have to rely heavily on their fans to renew Young Justice for a fifth season ever since they did with the third season however I'd think Young Justice very much deserve to have a fifth season although it may be too early to say that they need a fifth season to continue on.)
Plus the only interests that hasn't change is my love for Hawaii, surfing and volleyball ever since I have been falling in love with Hawaii back in either 2007 or 2008 as well as surfing then I got back to the surfing band wagon back in 2012 then after that: I only got back the interest of Hawaii back in 2019 additionally now those are my true interests I have been in love with now additionally basketball is one of the sports I fall for it . . . I'd think back in either 2013 or 2014--I don't remember; sorry.
Anyway; thanks for reading my very first personal post on very own personal blog where I usually do my Hawaii Men's Volleyball Fan Fiction and self-insert fan Fiction which I am still going it here anyway on my personal blog as well as my Tumblr Blog as well to make sure I add it as an archive blog for the Hawaii Men's Volleyball Fan Fiction I am doing it there as well as here, I am going to do the Fan Fictions on the more well known interests on Tumblr plus also I am going to doing it here as well as I am going to consider it as an archive blog on the Fan Fictions I would do on Tumblr.
Oh and I have changed my username now on Twitter as '@GoAllishaPaula' because I am becoming a new fan of the Dallas Wings and I too becoming a new fan of Allisha Gray now as well therefore this is the reason why now I changed my username as my Twitter is now going public which is good news and I have a Tumblr now as well which I am still deciding on the title for my Tumblr title ever since I'd think I am going to write the Fan Fictions there mostly plus I too am going post the pictures as well on what I have found while I am still trying to look for credits of who takes the photographs of those pictures as well as links plus anyway; I do have an epiphany on joining Pinterest although I hadn't got the chance yet ever since I am so busy with my own life yet I would love to share what I am pinning and the pin boards that I would love to share however I'd think I am going to give you an update much more later here as I still need to look up for the usernames; the people and the links for the original photographs as to give the legal credits as I am going to share it very publicly here.
Plus thank you for reading this very first personal post I did on this personal blog that I am running additionally I will be posting more personal posts on here as this blog is now my personal blog where I am now sharing about my own life as well as on my Twitter.
