Author's note: Decided to write this up ever since I wanted to share the writing on her family's background of how she had to go through so much during her childhood when she is still back in New York City when she is still living with her mom/ mum and her younger brother; however not all that glitters is gold--this is an event which takes place just before the miscellaneous writing on 'Personal question on jealousy and self-love' (I love this writing very much along with 'Boy talk in the morning' Fan Fiction I did as well as 'The sights from above to below': plus links for those writing are below to read) on how I mentioned about how they had a very long conversation just when one night when the both of them decided to share about their family background however I decided to do Paula's family background with just Chaz Galloway getting to know her family background story and I am going to update it with the helplines for DV and those who are suffering from depression as well as symptoms of depression.
Remember, your life is truly valuable and precious--this is the truth.
Oh and most of my own Fan Fiction I had written or I am currently writing [Depends on how I am doing personally in real life] is always taking place back in the 2000s Eras ever since the one takes place in the cursed year on the Pandemic is 'One last walk' because I would rather let most of my Fan Fictions to be taken place before the time of the pandemic except for 'One last walk' because 'One last walk' is a more modern day setting of how today is while most of the other Fan Fictions normally takes place just before the Pandemic and the craziness we experienced during the cursed year.
Written from both character's P.O.V on first person P.O.V [Point of view].
For Domestic Violence Helpline: 1-800-799-Safe (1-800-799-7233)/ 1-800-787-3224
For texting option on Domestic Violence Helpline: 1-800-799-Safe
(*The helpline for Domestic Violence may be different for those who are living outside USA thus the two I mentioned above are for USA only however I recommend to search a helpline for domestic violence based on where are you coming from in the world.)
Trigger Warning: This story may contain mentions of child abuse [DV too as well]; parental alienation and symptoms of narcissism; depression; bullying underage drinking; abortion: cheating, smoking; drinking alcohol and taking drugs. (Plus I am completely sober and I don't do it, ever. Thus don't smoke unless if you wanted to get an addiction which can be difficult to recover, don't drink unless if you are twenty one years and above and please don't do drugs either!)
Please keep yourself away from reading this if you couldn't tolerate any of these strong topics.
Credits of Norene Iosia and Chaz Galloway image goes to Warrior World on Twitter plus Hawaii Athletics additionally University of Hawaii Men's and Women's Volleyball Team for both of the images; images are NOT completely mine.
Plus credit of the Helpline image on how you can get in touch with them on getting the help from them; image is NOT mine.
Disclaimer: This is only a work of fiction therefore there is no need to take it seriously as if this happens in real life.
(*Update from Author: Oh man, I'd think I got out of topic when I am writing this story with all of the mental health talk plus a lot of different type of topics I am talking here plus I apologize for that.)
Miscellaneous writing on 'Personal question on jealousy and self love: https://realpaulaleah4everwrites05.blogspot.com/2020/10/miscellaneous-writing-no-2-personal.html
Boy talk in the morning: https://realpaulaleah4everwrites05.blogspot.com/2020/01/boy-talk-in-morning-university-of.html
The sights from above to below: https://realpaulaleah4everwrites05.blogspot.com/2019/10/the-sights-from-above-to-below-austin-x.html
Breakfast with friends: https://realpaulaleah4everwrites05.blogspot.com/2021/05/breakfast-with-friends-chaz-x-narrator.html
First encounter: https://realpaulaleah4everwrites05.blogspot.com/2020/02/first-encounter-chaz-galloway-and.html
It maybe just 1 a.m in the morning in Waikiki, Oahu; Hawaii however I decided to make a hot cup of tea on my favorite Spearmint and Lemon Tea by grabbing a clean white coffee mug with a watercolour/ watercolor galaxy of a beautiful ombre shades of turquoise, teals and ocean blues plus there is a quote written in silver in a beautiful calligraphy of 'Take one small step at the time, don't rush in life' ever since I tried to catch my sleep however even with Chaz Galloway who is my truthful adorable, happy and easy-going yet laidback best friend meets boyfriend who is now sleeping on the left side of the bed we are currently sleeping in [Normally I would sleep on the left side however he asked me to see if I can sleep on the right side of the bed.]
Plus normally I would sleep on the left side of the bed where I am facing the plain white walls yet I asked the land lord can we decorate the plain white bed room walls. He likes the idea thus he had told us to go to look for wall decorations either from Soha Living; Sand People or buy an art from a store called 'The Green Room Hawaii' which is a gallery where local artists shared their art in addition to selling their arts as well.
Chaz's side of the bed is on the right side of the room where he is facing the same white wall with a window on providing beautiful view of the famous Waikiki however ever since I felt there is so much on my mind yet the last few nights I hadn't slept well particularly I wasn't so sure is it for the reason that when I slept the left side of the bed where I am usually sleeping on this side then is it because I felt any physical pain? No, I didn't suffer any physical pain except he thinks I need to try sleeping on his side.
Therefore I recalled the time he asked me to see if I can try sleeping on his side of the bed with my own pillow and my very own Jinbesan Whale Shark Cushion to see if there is any luck however my mind couldn't turn off the long endless train of thoughts of what I had gone through back in my former birth home, New York City on how my relationship with my mom as well as my younger brother.
Although we did ended up sleeping at nine o' clock at night however at one o' clock in the morning with all of the thoughts are running in my head as an instant visualization of an example of an endless long train ride that goes on and on like forever; this leads me to how I ended up deciding to get up so early in the morning and start making a cup of hot tea on how I hope it can help me to soothe my nerves and all of the tense energy I am going through lately ever since I felt as if I am sitting down on pins and needles yet feeling on edge to be honest plus it does hurt me mentally, emotionally and spiritually additionally I brought my book from Max Lucado on 'Grace for the moment' I bought it with my own budget from a Seattle Book Fair during the spring break of my freshman year in addition to my dad's book on 'Tuesdays with Morrie' by Mitch Albom and 'Just one more day' which is a different book by the same author in addition to 'The monk who sold his Ferrari' series [Except for 'Family Wisdom from the monk who sold his Ferrari' which is also by the same author ever since this one is about family wisdom.] by Robin Sharma which I also got it from my dad too as well ever since my dad is a big reader when he wasn't doing his law work.
I remember how he told me originally he always wanted to be an author to write his own book on his own life whilst having to live Seattle in addition to raising kids plus having a family of his own additionally having a vacation in Hawaii during the long holiday breaks if he wasn't planning to be a lawyer however his mom as well as his late dad additionally his siblings whom he told me they are back in England/ United Kingdom are thinking and asking the questions which maybe hard for them to ask however they decided to know the truth on 'Are you sure you want to be an author then you want to be a lawyer?'; 'How he is going to make money when is just writing his books?'; 'Are you going to be rich/ wealthy and successful as an author or as a lawyer?'; and so on and so forth--thus after my dad had hide his secret for so long then he decided to come clean and tell them the truth that he wanted to be an author then he ended up becoming a lawyer as he applied to several universities there in England as well as to Stanford; Harvard and Yale additionally UVA plus William and Mary which is his 'last resort' plan as well however he ended deciding going to Stanford ever since they decided to welcome him in yet they accepted his application despite having the stress and the rejection my dad had to face from the different Universities he did applied to especially the ones which are very difficult to enter in ever since he had to work extra harder on his application.
As I place the cup of hot Spearmint and lemon Tea down on the clean white coffee table while opening 'Grace for the moment' book on a page of "God cares about you" which is on the February 18th despite knowing the current month is on March.
Reading on the page, I heard a sound of someone closes the bedroom and I turned around; it is Chaz who is now awake; clad in his Hurley white singlet with the logo of the Hurley symbol and on the right is the word which says 'Hurley' with an awesome surf break in different shades of orange and yellow from a background of a sunset as a background on the logo and the word 'Hurley'; plus he is wearing a beautiful pair of matching shorts with the beautiful shore break with the stunning shades of orange and yellow from the sunset background.
Plus his sunshine golden curls are all looking wild; unruly and messy yet it is rumpled all over the place yet he didn't care too much about his hair at all ever since he felt worried about me a lot lately.
Chaz's P.O.V
I felt really worried about her truthfully; it felt as if the depression is very much seeping through her lately--which reminds me of an example of how a lot of surfers had to go through a lot of terrible; gnarly and scary yet perilous surfing wipeouts at the more difficult surf breaks where they are surfing just like the big waves of Tahiti, Fiji: Namibia (Skeleton Coast for your information) and it hurts me a lot ever since she starts to shows the early warning signs of depression from the loss of appetite; the isolation of how she would always withdraw herself from social events--for example the other day when we are going to Kailua for a day at the beach in Kailua Beach--she withdraws herself by saying She is sick by saying 'I had a headache' which really take me by surprise because after I met her for the very first time back at San Diego when she had moved out from the apartment she shared with her ex-boyfriend. [More like a 'sweet guy turns to a jerk bag'--UGH.]
Austin Matautia who is an outside hitter formerly at the University of Hawaii as a Rainbow Warrior before transferring to UCLA with a new number [Same number as Spyros Chakas however the thought of Austin 'Hard to pronounce surname on how do you pronounce it' makes me want to throw up in the washroom and it makes me want to scream until I lost my 'actual' voice from all of the screaming personally.] as an outside hitter plus when she spoke to me about how Austin is 'once upon a time' used to be so sweet and innocent yet a 'Mr. Nice Guy' in University of Hawaii Rainbow Warriors as an Outside Hitter plus he had loads of fan on the Rainbow Warriors Fan Base. (*Yeah right, just when she makes me want to roll my eyes after I heard the part on why she moved out because he felt as if she is controlling him however I'd think in particular--the one who caused all of the drama and the verbal threats of how he wants her to be gone is actually Austin whom not only he did gesture an action of how he potentially tried to slap her across her face numerous times in addition to locking her away in their apartment whenever he goes out to parties with his friends additionally getting drunk and thinking they can get away with drinking at an illegal age which makes me want to slap Austin for underage drinking plus even though I am in Hawaii--there is no way I am planning on drinking ever since in Hawaii--drinking is very much illegal for those who are underage of 21 years old and above plus I am so thankful my mom/ mum Melinda had taught me to stay away from any illegal activities by both words and actions additionally I even decline drinking thus if you think drinking is going to cope with all of your personal problems--unfortunately the answer is definitely 'No', it isn't going to give you any help thus/ therefore I wouldn't even think about drinking is going to help you with all of your own personal problems additionally I still don't completely understand why people think drinking and getting drunk is just fun--just no.
I'm not an addict however (*Thankfully) I think more people shouldn't drink at all ever since it does hurt your own body, your own mind and your own self most of all thus why drink? I just think people needs to reconsider to look into other ways to help with their own personal problems to be honest for real by offering the genuine optimism; the 'truthful' support of validation and hope to others additionally doing their research on how they can help a person who is very much suffering from a lot of their personal issues they have to go through in their real life by asking questions to the one who is suffering; offering the support on genuine optimism; validation and hope plus doing their research, offering the help they can do with the every day activities plus to share with others by talking about how mental health is just as important as physical health; how they can help those who are suffering from depression, anxiety or any form of mental illness in addition to how they can share with others and spoke about it widely as mental health and mental illness are very real and serious for real.
What else did Austin did to her? He calls her by names as well as cheating behind her back additionally he didn't told her who he is seeing and before she leaves his apartment; he wanted to choke her however after reporting to Santa Monica Police station about the case as well as going to a Women's Shelter on sharing her story; the police ask her to get a lawyer to file a restraining order however she and her father are not quite at the time on good terms ever since he wasn't too happy to hear that she is dating someone who is promising guy however he ends up turning into a monster and he did ended up verbally abusing her yet he also 'almost' physically abuse her as well thus this really angers me and my heart a lot ever since I hated people who thinks when they say something destructive and hurtful; they think they put the blame on him/ her/ them for what they had done when the person who caused all of the actual problem is the one who is also to be the one who had to tell the hurtful, painful and heart-wrenching truth about why he/she/ they are the one who caused all of the problem in the very first place yet they place the blame on the other person who hadn't done anything or the person who is the actual victim is in the difficult situation they had to go through?? I felt like I wanted to scream [again] for seeing this case being unfold and how it comes to reality to be honest.) Then he moved to UCLA as an outside hitter with a new, fresh start yet a new number; he started to change after about five or six months of them dating.
Paula may be also the one to be blamed for very different reasons on how she wouldn't let him go to parties yet she felt uncomfortable whenever she sees him with other girls as she does have her jealousy on other girls with Austin plus I felt as if she can be a bit controlling in a relationship sometimes whenever she is with a guy except I might think she may had this kind of jealousy from her mom/ mum because I knew that if her mom/ mum does have this kind of jealousy towards others women then perhaps this is where her jealousy comes from whenever she sees her ex Austin with another girl and even she does have her jealousy towards the other girls for seeing me and claiming me to be honest.
Except sometimes she can tend to get too controlling thus which really scares everybody sometimes including me however I remember how she didn't want to see anybody to get abused again ever since she felt traumatized and hurt about how when she sees people fighting in an abusive way; she felt truthfully traumatized; hurt and angry thus it reminds her of how she gets abused in all four forms of abuse thus this can sometimes leads to her protective and fierce nature she has and although she may be a person who can give you a chance however do the same mistake by the second round or the third round--it is instantly out of the question plus don't try to get your hopes or expectations up to think she is giving you chance number 2 or number 3--it reminds me of baseball or softball (Or both perhaps); three strikes and the damage is completely way done; the personal dirty laundry [Speaking as if we are talking about personal gossips and business people are going through] had been aired out and the whole mental image of Pandora's box of secrets, lies and betrayal had been opened up plus ouch, I really think it may be hard for us to simply follow the rules especially these days when people would rather try to cover it up with a lie; playing the blame game by blaming others and a forced yet back-handed apology they had to say the two important word on 'I'm sorry' than just telling the person the painful; hurtful and heart-wrenching yet the tragic truth we had to be prepared in addition to make a serious vow on a promise on not to do the same mistake again however if they did it again for the second time, ouch--just be careful; friendship can be one of the most delicate part we have in our life other than trust since if we do not handle it properly we can ended up causing a lot of elephants in the room based on the friendship between you and the other person.
Thus be careful when it comes to your friendship with the other person to be honest at this point!
I didn't mean to bring all of her past up however I sense that sometimes whenever P gets jealous about how I am seeing another girl then maybe her great grandmother, grandmother and mother does have the sense of protective nature they have when it comes to their family and their partner as well thus this might something with how the older generation does pass down the kind of character quality (wise) towards the younger generation you have in the family as your children and your grandchildren as well as your great grandchildren will very much observe your behaviors very closely with their pair of their eyes as a sense of sight while using their pair of ears as the sense of hearing and listening then they would pick up those behaviors as their values and beliefs plus this is the reason why so many parents have to watch their behaviors towards themselves; other people and most of all, their children/ their kids because kids/ children would definitely pick up your behaviors with all five of their common senses as they consider your behavior as their values and their beliefs from their parents.
Thus normally I would think a guy can get jealous about their girlfriends have another guy on the sideline however the question is why would the girl want to see the other guy instead of having to feel [genuinely] happy, thankful and secure in their relationship plus what is the chemistry on the example on the atmosphere of the relationship they have to be honest?
The answer to this question does truly leads to even more questions than answers.
However the first question is does the girl sees the other guy because did she felt as if the first and originally guy she is falling for is less of a soul mate and more of a wound mate?
Or is it because did she felt comfortable yet a good company with the other guy yet perhaps is there something happened behind closed doors between the both of them?
And what is going on to their relationship between the guy and the girl when they are behind closed doors?
Maybe is there is a reason about how the guy isn't too happy about seeing her with another guy ever since he may had to go through so much in his own life based on his personal experience additionally another is did he felt something greatly yet truthfully negative on a particular experience on how does his parents get legally separated or divorced for the reason that does one of his parents may not to be too happy about either his partner isn't too happy about how their partner is seeing somebody else/ someone else right behind their back without acknowledging their partner they are actually seeing someone/ somebody else behind their back?
This leads to even more question plus speaking of more questions than answers; another question pops up out of nowhere: Why does the girl didn't acknowledge the first guy on how did she met the other guy and why did she looks so happy with the other guy more so than the first guy as her first real and actual/ true love interest yet she already had a 'full-on' relationship with him. [Speaking about the guy who is 'first true love'.]
Is it because did she wanted someone to offer her the security, the path of joy, healing; happiness; true love and most of all; having to feel loved and to be loved?
Or does she felt genuinely comfortable with the other guy on how he lets her be her true self yet providing her the space of comfort; providing her the tools on how she can start on the path of healing additionally did he also provide the comfort bubble of a secure mental space and giving her the comfort and love she very much deserve yet she didn't experience anything on this kind of experience when she is in a relationship with the first guy whom is her 'first' lover/ love interest?
Either way, I am not too sure about the answers on those questions because it does feel hard to understand relationships especially when we don't know what does the both of them had to go through particularly in their own life individually instantly way before they first met each other as they had their very relationship between each other--thus I know it does takes an 'actual' perfect two/ a 'truthful' perfect two to do a tango dance between a guy and a girl.
Additionally this leads to even much more questions than you even think to be honest.
Perhaps one of the question is her first love interest may had tried to offer that however there are numerous unsolved issues they had did had gone through in their life individually yet maybe/ perhaps did the first guy doesn't even ask the question about her own life on what are the individual life issues she had gone down in life? Was it because does she came from a family whom tried to provide her the things she really wanted in her life for a long period of time on having the attention and security she wanted to have moreover on feeling the real and authentic endless true plus unconditional love she always wanted to have in her own life, in addition to having the power of gratitude to focus and be grateful for whatever she had in her own life back then yet her parents didn't offer those kind of things that no one can't simply replace it with anything else on materialistic kind of love or having to cover it up with nothing but with everything else on a bribery except I don't think it going to replace the love on actual hugs and kisses, the words of encouragement and compassion; the physical contact on the face to face; eye to eye contact in person.
Another question is what about the 'first' guy as her first love interest? Why would he become so jealous about his girlfriend so quickly when she treats the other guy with nothing but respect and kindness towards the 'other' guy except the question is why would he be so jealous about the girl who is his girlfriend when she is having a friendly with the 'other' guy?
And why would the guy would become so envious in an instant minute about how the girl seeing the other guy when they are in a relationship between each other?
Was it because there is something happened between the both of them behind closed doors?
Another question is does the guy felt suppressed whenever his girlfriend sees another guy?
Plus why does the guy does feel very neglected whenever his girlfriend sees her with another guy?
Additionally what kind of particular issue he had experienced before on his jealousy?
Does this had something to do with how one of his parents does endure the character of jealousy on how one of them is truthfully feeling unfaithful to their marriage on cheating, the addiction on drinking alcohol; doing drugs; having to be a very controlling person on either being a perfectionist or being a person who tries so hard to create a picture of a 'picture-perfect happily ever after relationship' except do they get away with too much of the image of 'perfectionism' on their relationship?
Or was it because does it reminds him of the past on how is he either feeling unloved because perhaps his parents are too busy giving all the attention to the other new family member? Or does he felt like being sidelined by the other family members ever since his parents didn't truthfully/ really give him the amount of attention and affection he truly/ actually starved from either one of his parents or from both of his parents?
Plus another question is what kind of family background he has? Does he come from a family where the parent had endured trauma before? Maybe his parents did endured anything traumatic such as abuse in all different forms of abuse on physical, mental; emotional and spiritual in addition to physiological abuse or perhaps his parents are actual wound mates on how they have so many things they need to personally fix on their own yet they decided to neglect it in addition to having a very difficult; rocky and an unhealthy relationship between each other?
Or did either one of them or did both of them [the parents] experience on an absent parent during their younger days?
Or did one of the parents endure the loss of a parent [or both of their parents] when they are at their age during their younger days?
Well, I am not too sure why did the guy does gets jealous easily of a girl who is his 'girlfriend' on seeing another guy plus it does happens the other way around too when the girl does suffers jealousy when a guy is seeing another girl as well.
Thus this means there are even more questions comes up some more or there are more 'real/ actual/ true/ truthful' questions to answer than the 'actual/ real/ truthful/ true' answers to solve this kind of mystery.
And one of 'those' question is 'What really causes the jealous character inside the guy?'
And there are even more questions that makes it even much more complicated yet sometimes we just don't know what are they going through in their relationship particularly the individual issues they have.
Additionally, when I open the cream color bathroom door on pulling down the silver door leveler after I click the switch on to an LED cool daylight white ceiling lamp; leading to the en suite bathroom where we are now sharing with two sinks; a simple yet contemporary lovely shower; a toilet seat just next to the shower where it has a glass pane as a wall however there is no sign of Paula.
Except she wasn't in the bathroom at all for her bathroom break thus I ended up taking a quick break then close the lid of the toilet seat and flush it with a press of a single silver button on top of the toilet seat before opening it back; closing the door and turning off the bathroom light by clicking the switch off.
Thus I decided to clicking on the lamp on her side where she uses it as her reading light; lighting the room with it's warm golden glow from the lamp where it is a warm white light to check the right side of the bed where I originally sleep on that side however with a lot of discomfort/ pain she had experience the last few nights back then this is when I let her sleep on my side however instead of sleeping--I woke up and I found out that she wasn't sleeping at all on the right side of the bed as her Jinbesan Whale Shark Cushion is still on the bed.
'Maybe is she at her art room?' I thought as my sunshine golden blonde (super) curly hair is looking all wild; rumpled and messy all over the place as I am only clad in a Hurley surf singlet which the logo does have a beautiful beach break during the sun set hours by Clark Little additionally a pair of matching Board Shorts I am wearing which does matches the logo in the centre/ center of my white color singlet.
I open the door softly and click on the switch on the cool daylight white ceiling lamp to check there except she is nowhere to be found.
Looking into the guest bedroom; I clicked on the switch which turns on a beautiful chandelier with a beautiful golden glow from the LED strip of a warm white light; I check to see if she is sleeping in there however I don't think she was in there either.
The guest room where we have is a bedroom is where she sleeps alone whenever she either have her period on or perhaps when she needed to sleep alone on the fabulous king size bed we have in the centre yet sometimes our friends especially G-Voss and Ana who would normally sleep in that room whenever they come over; I turn on the lights however I don't think she was there either.
Plus the interior of our guest room has the same plain white walls, the same furnishings in addition to a light icy blue photo frame on a bedside table where there is one on the right side of the bed; inside the photo frame; it has a picture of me piggybacking Alaia at the swimming pool in Aulani where my family decided to stay at the Ko Olina resort which is located on the west side of Oahu.
Thankfully she is found in the fabulous and elegant yet awesome living room where we have a new TV additionally a new and comfortable cream color sofa additionally this is where we normally watch a movie, our favorite TV shows plus the sports we are planning to watch in addition to our UH Games, sometimes we even had our meal times here moreover we also ended up playing board games and an Uno card game additionally a game of Jenga Tower as well.
However, I did particularly always get uncomfortable whenever we are playing the Jenga Tower game; it does reminds me of how she told me she used to play this game with her ex Austin before the move to UCLA and it makes me want to throw up from a food and a drink I had taken from my meal earlier in our bathroom at the toilet seat.
Thus we did end up playing the other games except for Jenga Tower because I just felt greatly and truly frustrated every time when she starts talking about her ex 'sweetheart turns into a jerk bag at UCLA' Austin Matautia or for me, Austin "Hard to pronounce his surname thus don't ever ask me how can I pronounce his surname so ask my girlfriend instead because she was the one who knows him well and she dates him as well for just two years therefore you have to ask her; not me".
I did enjoyed playing Scrabbles and Uno though because whenever my family I--whenever we are playing Scrabbles; I would always either team up with my mom; my older sister Cambria who is studying [Author's note: she recently graduated] at Air Force Academy; my little sister **Alaia (*Author's note on 27th May 2021: Congratulations for graduating from the Air Force Academy, Cambria. **Author's Note: Name changed due to privacy concern plus she is the little girl who is at the back of Chaz when he carry her on a piggyback at the Aulani Ko Olina Disney Resort instantly right at the swimming pool) or even my dad; Craig Galloway who is a coach for Track and Field at Cathedral High in addition to being a salesperson for Biopharma.
Nevertheless we did always ended up having fun which is one of the most important thing we need to do in our life yet my family always told me; while you are working in your life; sometimes you need to lighten up yourself and don't take anything too seriously in your life otherwise you might miss out all of the fun and happy experience people may had experienced it in their life though if you do take yourself seriously too much; you might miss it.
On another note; it is so much fun to spend time playing the family game with your second ohana.
Except this is not the time to simply have a game night because Dani and Spyros are sleeping at the University of Hawaii Dorm apartment with their room mates while G-Voss is the same and Ana; ever the local citizen of Hawaii had decided to sleep at her mom's home back at an area called Ewa Beach [Where her ex-Austin is there; I felt like I want to throw up whenever I hear about her ex ever since he did emotionally abuse her additionally he did apologize so many times for his actions however for me; this sounds less like an 'truthful' apology and more of an apology which sounds more forced and backhanded ever since he sounds like he didn't want to apologize to her for abusing her emotionally by owning his mistakes.] where she and her family on her mom and her younger brother who is always mistaken for an older brother due to his height as he kept telling people he is her younger sister Genesis lives in Ewa Beach however with Ana who is deciding to go back to her home in Oahu from Orlando, Florida for a week break additionally the people from the Disney College Program does give them a week break as what they call it a 'Mental 3Rs' break on learning to recharge; relax and taking the time to reflect in their life ever since they do think mental heath is a topic to be widely spoken additionally it is a serious topic as well ever since it is not only needs to be widely be spoken about however in addition to how mental health is something needs to be widely spoken about; people can acknowledge about how mental health is an awareness which needs to be more spoken about additionally we do also learn by doing the research about mental health and learn how to spread the awareness on how we can help on those who are suffering from any symptoms of mental illness additionally the early red flag symptoms of depression and anxiety as well as the numerous development disorders they had to go through such as Borderline Personality Disorder; Bipolar Personality Disorder: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder; Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and so many other disorders which may be the lesser known disorder except people shouldn't be overlooking the negative experience they had to go through additionally sadly, we not only overlook the negative experience they are going through in particular on their life however we also ended up offering the support on the 'so-called' positive reinforcement which the comment we speak can be very much sound less of a comfort and support they very much truly needed and more of a comment where we are giving them the 'so-called' positive support by not acknowledging their negative feelings additionally we ended up denying their negative feelings by just saying those comments such as 'Good vibes only'; 'Cheer up!'; 'Snap out of your mind': 'Stop being so so sad': 'Why are you being so sad?'; 'Don't be sad'; 'Learn to be happy'; and so on and so forth on how we unfortunately ended up offering the toxic positivity yet we ended up overlooking at their negative feelings by not asking questions on what are they going through in their life additionally doing their research on how we can give the actual help to them as well to be honest.
Plus this is the time to get serious about this kind of situation ever since she is now in the living room where I found her sitting down on the sofa with a cup of tea ever since the brown coffee table we have; we decided to move to the area where it supposed to be the dining room with the matching brown bookshelves we had in the back additionally we did get those stable; brown and tall bookshelves from Home Depot ever since there is no Ikea in Hawaii ever since it is so difficult to look for a furnishing store to get a couple of bookshelves thus Home Depot is one of the options left ever since there is no way we can simply search for Ikea then we can shop online then ask our parents to do the bookshelves after that; we get to ship the whole heavy bookshelves to us ever since it maybe too heavy; difficult for us to handle additionally the only one place we can get the tall brown book shelves is definitely Home Depot ever since it is hard to find furnishing stores here in Hawaii to be honest plus this is where we kept our books on so many different/ various type of books we had read together and it is very beneficial especially during the days when we felt as if we want to have a day on just reading the good books we have and we enjoyed re-reading this book so much.
[The books we have in our bookshelves are a mix of fiction and non-fictions because we both enjoyed books so much therefore I'd think I am going to do a head canon on what kind of books do they actually enjoyed.]
Other than isolating herself; she had different symptoms of depression from how she didn't got out of bed, staying up late plus having the loss of motivation from doing the usual every day activities as well as doing the every day tasks in addition to how she wanted to lie down on the bed ever since from the pattern of staying up late; she did ended up with a headache the next day and ends up throwing up in the washroom plus I felt truthfully sorry for her ever since she had suffered from the early warning signs of depression.
Plus this really concerns me a lot ever since I remember the other day when I got a call from her best friend Katiana 'Ana' Ponce additionally when I told her she wasn't feeling well; Ana becomes genuinely/ truthfully/ truly/ actually shocked and it really breaks our heart ever since we know she does come from an estranged family plus it may be a big secret from her based on how she kept it for a really long time at first however many people didn't either acknowledge or understand about what she had to go through in her life on her past specifically the traumatic childhood she had go through from experiencing child abandonment from her mum, how her mum didn't even feed her or even provide her own daughter anything she very much wanted such as new; fresh and clean clothing she needed to wear in addition to having a lot of art supplies and toys as well as books she told her dad on how she wanted to read a lot of different books very much except . . . the sad news is; she didn't get anything from her mom/ mum instead whereas her younger brother is the only one who did managed to have several gifts from her not instantly on what he had wanted in his own life however the necessities too as well plus several new plus clean clothing as well while she had nothing but only old, worn out hand-me-down clothing she mentioned to me about how her mum/ mom only decided to give her only the old clothings which had several holes in them additionally the only pieces of clothing she had which are still safe and sound just before her mom/ mum decided to cause even a bigger trouble by cutting the sleeves of her white blouse, smearing dirt all over the dark blue blazer; trimming the length of her pair of white knee length socks plus trimming the length of her dark blue knee length skirt to a length above the knees plus placing dirty water into her pair of expensive black leather ballet flat shoes plus painting her all ten of her fingernails black with her mum's bottle of black nail polish to make sure her daughter had an example of how she wanted to drop out of school except her daughter didn't want to drop out of school despite the bullying she got from many of the students both boys and girls however the bullying from the other girls at the elementary school where she used to go is really saddening yet alarming all at the same time.
(*Specifically girls whom they had to remain their white blouse clean, the skirt to hit below the knee length additionally wearing a pair of either white or black knee length socks--most commonly the female students decided to wearing the pair of knee length white socks as part of the school attire in addition to wearing a pair of black leather ballet flat shoes which are part of the dress code for the school.)
Plus despite having the experienced of being bullied by the other students on how they whisper about her so much in addition to spreading false stories on rumors and gossips are sounding way too true to believe in addition to how alarming those rumors/ gossips they tried to spread although very few of the grown-ups does notice the alarming yet critical actions of how these students would want to go around bullying her by making up false stories and creating a buzz on an alarming false story to go around to spread the story as if she did something insulting or hurtful to them except she truthfully told the school principal moreover the headmaster/ head mistress on telling the truth about how she didn't do anything hurtful to the other girls or doing something insulting yet hurtful at the same time to bully the other girls at school yet she is the one who truly got hurt and bullied by the other girls yet they tried to play the 'victim' card by placing the blame on her plus it really angers me and my heart a lot for the reason that it hurts me truthfully to see how a child would get bullied by the other children either face to face as we are talking about a contact in real person by seeing the other person in person or by online on how they wrote negative comments; making insulting yet hurtful about the other person plus they also do other methods too as well.
However although we may known one side of the person's individual personality on one side; we never known what is on the other side on what did they had gone through in their own particular/ individual life on a traumatic; tragic yet heart-breaking event unless when we start asking questions about what kind of [traumatic, tragic and heart-breaking yet devastating] events they had gone through in their life; how we need to be present in the moment by listening to their stories whole-heartedly with their ears and their heart plus there will be more questions to asked on how they can they support the person who is going through a tremendous yet an overwhelmingly difficult roller-coaster ride of their life by asking them more questions on how they can offer the support the help to the person who is going through so much by offering a lot of support by offering/ giving them the endless/ continuous support of validation and hope and unconditional love the person very much wanted to have in their life however they just didn't get to experience it in their past from either their own parents or their own family members.
(**She told me she got bullied by the whispers they had done in addition to spreading the false stories on gossips/ rumors which are too true to believe both the boys and the girls of the student population who did gone to the same elementary school as she does before additionally she told me the worst bullying she ever endured from the time when she still goes to her elementary school back in New York is when most of the girls at her school would verbally abuse her by whispering and making false rumors which are too good to be true yet they sound alarming as well ever since I don't completely understand why girls can sometimes get involved in the drama or a situation where they are not actually/ truly/ truthfully involved in a disputation between both parties on one person and the other person thus I'd think they need to learn how to stay out of the others' personal dispute by learning how to mind their own business and focus on what they can actually control such as their own mindset, their own attitude towards somebody, someone or something instead of focusing what they can't control as it is important to learn how to mind your business; build yourself and manage yourself properly [Normally whenever people are talking about the two important words on "Manage yourself"--they always think it is all becoming becoming successful and financially stable however it is more than just the business and financial language--it is also about managing yourself physically; mentally; emotionally and spiritually as well to be honest!] additionally focus on doing whatever kind of activities makes you happy the most based on what do you love to do and discovering new activities; new places and trying out something new plus learning to give yourself the [mental] room and [mental] space of self-growth to let yourself grow into a new and improved person.)
While she is sipping her cup of now warm-to-room temperature Spearmint and lemon tea (Yummy, I truthfully acknowledge on how I am more of a glass of warm water; smoothie beverage person [It can be either my own home-made smoothie or any of the other smoothie] although I truly enjoyed having a good cup of tea during the night time as well especially when it comes to having a cup of green tea; peppermint tea and chamomile tea plus one of my personal favorite tea is a spearmint tea with a dose of honey; I believe some people enjoyed more of the sleepy time tea which my mum/ mom and my big sister Cambria 'Cam' enjoyed the most plus Alaia is slowly enjoying it too.); I take one of the surf cushion we bought from Soha living and sit next to her while hugging the cushion with both of my arms; plus I knew she is reading 'Grace for the moment' by Max Lucado which is a 365 Day Journaling Devotional book which my dad Craig and my aunt Shelby had back at home.
I shift my weight closer towards her and she turns to look at me where I am now staring at the new LCD TV screen.
She looks at me with her awesomely stunning pair of romantic dark chocolate brown eyes and I stare at her with a matching pair of dark chocolate brown eyes as well; oh wow--I felt as if we both the same pair of dark chocolate brown eyes.
I felt as if I could drown in her pair of lovely yet fantastically equally pair of healthy dark chocolate brown eyes plus she might do the same as well.
Paula's P.O.V
When Chaz stared at me with his seductively beautiful pair of equally healthy, wonderful and cool yet sparkling dark chocolate brown eyes as he watches me taking a sip of my now becoming cold spearmint and lemon tea from the coffee mug of a beautiful watercolor shades of a combination of turquoise; teals plus various types of shades of ocean blues with the quote which says in a clean yet a fabulously stunning quote on 'Take one small step at a time; don't rush in life' which is written in a beautiful shade of metallic silver color: he felt as if he is wondering why am I staying up so late to be honest.
I don't know why he is sitting next to me; watching me with his pair of worried dark chocolate brown eyes while I am sipping on my cup of spearmint and lemon tea which is getting cold after I forget about how the tea is getting cold while reading 'Grace for the moment'.
However when he places his arm on my shoulder; and lean against me softly on one side: I finally place my cup of cold spearmint and lemon tea while stared at him merely.
Chaz's P.O.V
I wanted to ask her why did she stayed up late yet she hadn't slept well on the last few nights since the way she was acting lately is starting to concern me a lot more than ever plus Ana felt the same way as well on how she had been acting lately, from the way she didn't want to get up from bed; how she stayed up late at night; the loss of appetite and isolating herself from the social activities additionally to losing the motivation to do the activities we need to do on the every day activities and the activities she always enjoyed doing the most.
Thus the question is it because is there something in particular on how her past must been haunting her as if the ghost of the past must had haunt her on how her mum/ mom had abused her back when she is in New York City.
Plus I also want to ask her about her past back in New York additionally about her relationship with her mum/ mom about why did she get abandoned by her in addition to how she didn't get anything from her on buying a pile of new clean clothes she needs to wear; getting her the art supplies and the toys her dad/ father wanted his wife to get just for her own daughter yet he tried to ask her several times except she ignores his requests he had tried to send it to her several times and instead she would rather choose to focus on her son instead of focusing on her own daughter which is the kind of story I don't think any parents want to ever want to hear it--EVER--because firstly this is an action of parental alienation just when you are placing more of your focus on one child or the other plus when you are focusing one child; it is important to give an equal amount of love to the other children otherwise this would cause a rift of an estranged relationship between you and your family members; leading to a lot of psychological issues becoming more and more visible if the issues are not completely solved by a professional psychologist; therapist or a professional counselor.
Except sadly many of the families decided to keep the issues private since they didn't want to offer any more burdens to people especially with how normally so many people would offer nothing but toxic positivity on offering the positive energy however they instantly deny the current situation on what is the person is currently going through in particular plus forgetting about how are they currently feeling in their situation.
Nevertheless, it is more than just toxic positivity: there are people who are offering the toxic empathetic energy as well.
However I don't know much about toxic empathy very much thus I'd think I need to more research on what is toxic empathy.
Anyway; back to the story: I did wanted to ask questions to her however I just didn't want to trigger too much thus I just tried to lean against her without saying anything.
Paula's P.O.V
When I found out Chaz is leaning against me, he didn't even try to say anything because I felt as if he didn't spoil this quiet moment between us by either offering the toxic positivity on how all too often we offer the toxic positivity or may be he is just afraid he might break the invisible glass wall in the safe bubble of where we are now honestly.
"Chaz?" I asked softly while he is now falling asleep on my shoulder.
Chaz's P.O.V
When I got to the living room, I wanted to ask her questions about her past except I ended up falling asleep on her left shoulder.
Although I may hear her saying my name however I ended up falling asleep to be honest.
Thus when I fall asleep on her shoulder; I felt as when I am watching a documentary with Paul McGann's soothing and ASMR-like relaxing voice narrating in the background about something; I would think specifically on how the humpback whales migrate to the warm waters off the islands of Hawaii on how the female especially the mums whom the ones who had mate with a male would give birth to their calves in warm waters while the male humpback whales would follow them on their journey with their deep songs which instantly draws the attention to the other females especially the ones who hadn't been mated yet.
It may be my imagination except it is my own imagination which pops out of nowhere.
Paula's P.O.V
Hearing the soft sound of Chaz's breathing; I felt that I need to write him on a note about my past.
I pulled up another soft surf cushion we bought it from Soha Living; placing his head with his spongy curls which looks more wild and messy except I decided to write him a note ever since it is easier for me to write a note to him on explaining about my story on my personal experience in the past plus Amy who is my therapist had explained to me during one of our therapy session instantly when I am back in Seattle for a couple of days to clear my head plus when I contact her for another therapy session ever since I gone back home instantly around two weeks ago; she is truly happy and willing to help me even more so than ever; she told me one of the creative activity on how several people find it to be therapeutic is doing creative activity; such as writing, art; D.I.Y; music: dance: poetry; drama additionally there is something new I had learned from her on what known to be as 'Psychodrama' which is the meaning of near true to life experiences in hope to acknowledge group function and self plus any kind of creative activities can be very helpful and therapeutic ever since she told me about how activities with anything creative can be therapeutic additionally it can help others to improve their self-esteem; building the emotional strength, giving the perceptions on a troubling/ difficult situations: reinforcing the focus on distressing situations plus this helps a lot of people on how it can help a lot with several and different types of mental health such as dementia; Alzheimer's disease: chronic illness, substance misuse additionally head injuries plus they also help too with relieving both stress; trauma and physical or developmental disabilities.
Other than helping to treat different types of mental health condition as well as stress; trauma and learning to improve cognitive and sensorimotor functions plus building the emotional strength and social skills, resolving personal fights between one person and the other person additionally giving the encouragement into any of the distressing issues--it also helps to build up a better relationship between the one person and the other: having a deeper knowledge of themselves, plus it gives a relaxation or empowerment in addition to providing a distraction from the pain and illness the person is going through either physically, mentally and emotionally plus it also gives the person a personal sense of achievement too as well.
Plus she told me the most common creative therapy are art therapy, music therapy; dance in addition to acting and drama as well as poem therapy and writing therapy additionally it helps many of her patients are they ask her about using activity as a therapy as one of the most frequently asked question from a patient to a therapist.
Although a therapy session with a therapist does require a lot of talking and speaking however some may had a difficult time talking to their therapist by expressing their own feelings out loud in addition to sharing their life story due to how they had difficulty in expressing their emotions and sharing their life story plus thankfully with creative therapy is a help for those who had a difficult time expressing their own emotions and sharing their life stories.
Luckily, many of the therapists are willing to offer creative therapy as a way for them to express themselves especially when there are people who may had endured narcissism; domestic violence and abuse: any of the several yet the various type of mental health issues they are suffering from.
However in some cultures, they look at mental illness as a sign of taboo plus sadly they tried to cope it with anti-depressant medicines which they did very little to no research around it additionally medication may help with some of the mental health conditions however they do need to check in with a professional to see if this works for them since not all of the medication may work on all of the mental health condition to be honest.
Although there are people who tried to cope their mental health with alcohol and drugs which may cause more harm than good ever since it may lead to several health issues on how it may the negative effects on their mental health as they can ended up becoming more violent in addition to how it can cause more physical health issues as well however there are people who may ignore the warning signs on how drinking a glass of alcoholic drink can cause a lot of damage towards your health in all three of the health form on physically, mentally and emotionally.
Except Dr. Amy thinks alcohol and drugs plus smoking may not be the best idea on coping with their mental health issues they are suffering from by using alcohol and drugs as a method to cope with their mental health conditions thus she told me many of her patients had experienced drinking alcohol beverages additionally smoking and having the addiction to drugs before and they told her it is hard for them to give up at first however after a while they told they had to learn how to go to cold turkey on giving up smoking; alcohol addiction and drug addiction as well except for some; it may be difficult for them to give it up thus she had to get help from the other therapist on how he/she can give the additional help to those who find difficult to give up on the addiction to smoking; alcohol and drugs ever since some of the patients had tried to give up on the addiction except they kept circling back thus the one and only option they can do is having help from the other therapist who can give an extra helping hand with their addictions plus some of the patients had asked on option to go to a rehab center to see if they can recover thus they may wanted to get the extra help.
Thankfully I didn't do anything with smoking; alcohol or even drugs plus neither did my dad whom he thinks it is ridiculous to smoke, drink alcohol or even to take drugs in addition to saddening as well ever since there are so many people in this world who does have this kind of addiction which is hard for them to let it go nevertheless I wanted to share something with Chaz on my past and let him know by a note which I decided to write as a note to let him know about my past.
Although he may be fast asleep however I decided to do it anyway . . .
Chaz's P.O.V
Just when I am deep in my sleep; I didn't know where she is going in addition to plus during the next morning I found out there is a note from her while the cup of her spearmint and lemon tea was gone as I remembered she did washed the cup and now she went back to sleep although I would had woken her to go surfing as our very own hangover remedy.
Nevertheless I remember she wrote a note down to me about her past on two pieces of paper and when I got up; I decided to read the note and this is what it said below; written on a piece of paper with a Pilot Win Gel 0.5 Pen in black:
"Dear Chaz,
I know you wanted to ask me questions however I acknowledge you are falling fast asleep however I decided to write down a note for you to understand more about my past.
My past isn't always a happy childhood or a happy past I wanted to talk about however since you wanted to ask me about my past then I am willing to share it with you in this letter about my past.
As you know my parents are very estranged parents ever since my mom/ mum didn't expect to met someone like my father however he wanted to give her the life she never had back in her home just when she hadn't got a very good life as her relationship with her mom/ mum [My grandmother who is very much alive however she decided not to talk about her family due to her past] had been very estranged and toxic ever since my grandmother [a.k.a her own mom/ mum/ mother] had been a jealous woman on how she is jealous about how her daughter have something she didn't truly have in her life plus it greatly affects her a lot in her life ever since my grandmother didn't have the life she wanted to have plus my mom/ mum had go down the same path in her past.
Plus with her (Talking about my grandmother on my mom's side ever since I had a wonderful relationship with my dad's mom/mum ever since he remembers to travel all the way to Honolulu once on a seven thousand mile flight they had to fly from London to Hawaii [***Author's note: Yes, I did my research and it calculates to either 7,249 miles or 11,664 Kilometers--plus if the information is wrong then I am very sorry for the miscalculation on the misinformation of the distance flight between UK and Hawaii] on a twelve-thirteen hour flight with a lot of stop overs in the mainland of USA as a transfer from a flight to another flight; however for them a 'once in a lifetime' trip with a long flight would be worth it.) character of envy, she decided to sabotage her own daughter as her own siblings decided to take their mother side except for my late grandfather or her late father.
As you can tell; she had a really good relationship with her late father ever since he understands about how much she wanted to be a business woman and she also wanted to be successful as well plus he lets her go for her dreams as he wants her to be successful and happy to be honest however her mom/ mum/ mother is a very different story to be honest.
Her mom on the other hand is not completely impressed with the idea of her becoming a successful business woman as she felt as if her own dreams are stripped away from her to her daughter; acknowledging this is the reason why when my grandmother is younger; she had become envious to be honest.
When she had become jealous as the green-eyed monster of jealousy get the best of my grandmother that's when the both of them had a lot of heated argument between each other over something additionally whenever my late grandfather ask what had happened; she blamed it on her own daughter a.k.a my own mother.
Every day she had to face a lot of jealousy and abuse from her and even I remember my grandmother wanted her own daughter to be gone from her life except however I'd think the problem here is my grandmother not my mom/ mum.
(*I hated talking about the elderly people like this except unfortunately the way my grandmother treated my mom/ mum in an unacceptable yet abusive ways with both her words and actions plus emotions makes me feeling angry as I really felt as if my grandmother is the one at fault not my own mom/mum however for her; it is too little too late to mend their relationship hence the reason why she hadn't spoke about her past and I hadn't spoke about my past either too ever since young children will definitely observe the parents behavior with their pair of eyes on how the way the grown-up acts and speaks especially when it comes to their parents; they think their behavior are their value and beliefs from the parents to the children plus with this kind of actions on the way my grandmother did to my own mom/ mum then this is the reason why I hated the way she treated her own daughter so much.)
Plus my late grandfather told her (my grandmother) to stop this type of behavior towards my mom/ mum in addition to how he told her my late great-grandparents wanted her to be a good mother to her own daughters and sons however it is my mom/mum is the one whom she wasn't treating well additionally her siblings are feeling the same way as well.
While he is still very much alive; the both of them are also having their own personal issues too as well. They both argued a lot about why he didn't made enough money plus she even slapped him once and he felt really upset at her--he told my mom/ mum sadly she won't completely in about fifty years time unless if she is willing to have a change of heart and he wanted her [My mom/ mum not my grandmother] to be happy; be successful and may be giving him a better home.
She [My mom/ mum] is willing to do anything to do for her late father however after a year she turned twelve years old; he lost his life due to a devastating accident of a car and motorcycle; my late grandfather is riding the motorcycle with his helmet on his head while the driver [I don't know is it a male or female however she refuses to answer the question plus this is the reason why my mom/ mum refusing to answer the question on who is the one responsible for the accident.] is driving a car however I don't know is it because of speeding or is it drunk driving--either way I just don't know who is it to be honest.
When I read this part of the letter, my eyes started to water over the part on how her late granddad had to tell her the sad and hurtful truth about how his wife or her grandmother isn't going to have a change of heart in fifty years time plus he told her {Speaking about her mom/ mum} he wanted see his daughter to be happy, graduate with a masters degree from a successful university or college plus to become a strong; brave: successful and rich business women as well as giving her late granddad the home where he felt safe; secure and happy in addition to her siblings plus getting a professional help for her mom or Paula's grandmother.
My tears starts rolling down on my cheeks when I read the part where her late granddad lost his life from a very heart-breaking and a devastating accident which reminds me of what had happened to Ana's dad in addition to how no ohana; friends or anybody who is so close to the person who they had a strong relationship yet having a good company in between each other wanted to go down the devastating road of grief.
So I continued on reading the letter:
"After her late father had lost his life due to the heart-wrenching accident; her mom/ mum felt angry and sad--thinking she is the one to be blamed for and worse; she got abused even more than ever especially since now her own late father is gone from her life: she got even more abused than ever and worse; the other students at school teased her even more plus a lot of the grown-ups had done very little actions to stop the bullying and this is when she becomes more and more unhappy in her life yet the symptoms of depression she had endured had becoming more and more visible by the days; weeks; months and years.
She also had become more and more angrier and more aggressive over the years and there are times when she wished she could murder her own mother and wanted her mom/ mum to be gone instead of her own late dad.
Plus there is one time after she had completed school, she is planning to go the big city to see if she can get the opportunity to get a job while going to university or college there except while she is in her own bed room where she rarely leaves her room after her late father is gone; she remembers how when there is a group of girls who is about the same age as her teasing her about how she lost her own father then this is when she exploded.
She exploded on those girls by physically fighting them and that is the last straw for both her mom/ mum and her siblings--they actually felt livid with her and now they wanted her to get out of the house which they don't tolerate this kind of behavior in their house.
By the time when she moved to the big city, she decided to isolate herself from making friends with people by focusing to build herself; her life and having a successful business as well plus the boutique she actually work is at SWP where now there is a new boutique replaced the older one and I believed the boutique does dresses which are locally made from Thailand, Vietnam; Myanmar; Singapore, Indonesia: Brunei plus the Philippines which are the much seldom and 'hard-to-find' items as the more common ones are from Myanmar; Laos: Vietnam and Thailand plus even there are some of the overseas dresses are made from Taiwan; Hong Kong [Most of their clothing inspiration and the clothes they made are from Hong Kong as well]; South Korea and Japan.
While they are working there; they remember there are a couple of foreigners who did bought the clothing there for half of the price from the full-on price you normally get from Forever 21; Urban Outfitters: Victoria Secret: Abercrombie and Finch; Hollister, Hurley: Roxy: Quiksilver: Rip Curl plus Nike, Adidas: Puma and you name so many fashions brands including the local ones on Fighting Eel; Tori Richards; you name it; they spoke with the ladies about traveling to a foreign country where they never had been before and this is my mom's opportunity to go to New York City while the other ladies chooses South Korea, Taiwan; Japan: Hong Kong or even somewhere on Thailand, Vietnam; Myanmar; Singapore, Indonesia: Brunei plus the Philippines as well as Australia and Europe [Including UK where my dad is coming from.] however my mother/ mom/ mum wanted to choose New York City to get the opportunity.
However she didn't have the start on how she wanted to start living in New York City though the other ladies had to help her with the Visas she needed to get for the USA Visas she very much needed additionally the documents she needed to get before moving to New York City after she finished her time in the University of Malaya.
After that; she did ended up moving to New York City except she didn't get the start she is expecting to get and sadly; many people always get frustrated with how the way she first spoke in English plus they don't know where is the location on where she is going until she ends up meeting my dad.
My dad is happy and willing to help her while bringing her to his apartment back when he used to have an apartment in New York City while he went to Law School those days plus he is willing to give the apartment to my mom/ mum whom he is going to call her his wife after they finished their studies in about a couple of years additionally he helped her with opening their business in the Manhattan area where she now had her own boutique.
Plus they did managed to have a small wedding at Central Park which I'd think it may sounds like a weird idea for some people however because my mom/ mum arrived with nothing but her own goods; her valuable items additionally the important documents and visas she must keep them with her at all times additionally when it comes to the wedding; she told him she couldn't afford an expensive wedding on an expensive wedding dress; he decided to help her to cover the paid extensions as the saying goes 'all extensions paid'.
I smiled a bit when she wrote about the part where she met her father while going to New York City with nothing but the documents she need to keep with her plus the goods she managed to bring with her plus I felt as if her mum/mom is from a country called Malaysia.
Then I flip the page to see what is on the next page plus this is where she wrote about the part when her mom/ mum becomes pregnant with her and her younger brother.
"After they got married, they decided to stay together in the same apartment and I remember after several years; she got pregnant plus when she go to the hospital, she is hoping for a boy however the hospital; they confirmed to be a girl and she may be feeling upset except she never said anything however my father did wanted to keep the baby and this is where the argument comes in on keeping the baby.
My mom/ mum wanted to abort me however my dad on the other hand; refused to do it ever since he wanted to keep me as a baby thus he did ended seeing a counselor and he told me he ended up crying on how she wanted to do an abortion however he hated the word 'abortion' so much plus after speaking to the counselor, my mom/ mum comes to terms on keeping the baby however after my birth; she never came back to pick me up from the hospital.
She ended up neglecting me and thankfully my dad recognize me because he remembers one of his law friends had knitted a cute pink baby beanie with a pom-pom on the very top of the hat and I was there; sleeping peacefully with a matching rose pink blanket another of his law friend passed to him as to keep me warm. (*They don't have the time to do a baby shower due to the differences they have between each other however his friends decided to do it at the Le Meridian Hotel in New York to throw him a baby shower and giving him the pink baby gifts for him ever since they heard he is having a baby girl which is me.)
After collecting me from the hospital; he decided to take care of me while my mum had an unexpected pregnancy and this time it is a boy.
Wow, I'd think the baby boy is her younger brother however how did she get pregnant with him?
I am not too sure perhaps her mum had been the whole time sneaking into bars and parties while dating other men as her father would become livid if he hears his wife does this.
I kept reading the letter:
"My dad wasn't so sure how my mum becomes pregnant with my baby brother however she wasn't willing to share it with me or her sadly. However she did managed to share it with her workers and they throw the baby shower at the Trump International Hotel just for her which makes my dad feeling suspicious about her actions and he felt upset about how she kept so many secrets in her life.
Anyway, she managed to have a safe birth with him additionally she managed to collect him from the hospital however the question is 'who is the father?'
Although she may be Asian however this is still a lingering question plus
they had to do a DNA test on who is the father for my baby brother and it turns out he may be the baby father however not fully completely the full-on baby father while she rather kept the actual baby father as a secret from us (Me and my dad).
I don't know who is the baby father either however then is it an Asian father who is the baby father for her younger brother?
Her mum may kept it as a secret however her father had enough unfortunately on the secrets she had kept from him and he wants to know more except things are not looking too good for them thus I look at the second piece of paper she use to wrote down on the third page of the letter.
"When my father found out she is seeing other men more and more; he becomes more angry about how she kept so many secrets additionally the both of them started arguing about how she is cheating on him however during their time on the marriage; he did cheated on her several times and she decided to the same and she almost flipped the table on him plus it scares a lot until today.
After she kicked him out; he decided to move out to Washington State when I am only about three years old and my brother is much more younger; when I asked her she refused to answer my question and from this day onward; I dare not to ask any more questions about my dad to her.
However things are becoming more and more worse for me and she decided to neglect me altogether while I am staying at the apartment with them except she doesn't want to put me in the streets thus she decided to keep me in except she focuses more on my brother and less on me honestly.
That's when I got livid about she doesn't care about her at all and thankfully I am getting closer to the end of the story.
"My mum tried so much to sabotage me and the neighbors are completely angry with what she is doing to me as they called the police several times until one day; when my father arrived to New York upon hearing the sad news on why I got suppressed by my mum: he decided to take serious action by filing a restraining order despite the experience on filing for divorce and having to paid a joint child custody between the two before moving out and unfortunately I felt really alienated by own mom.
During that day, I didn't cry; not until I got on the airplane and my father felt guilty for taking me with him at six or seven years old however he didn't want me to stay in a toxic environment and he wanted me to stay in a safe, secure and happy environment as we stayed at Washington State for about two months where I got home-schooled by my dad before moving to Honolulu where I went to Punahou school and I become a lot more happier in months plus I did managed to live and thrive in Honolulu--the rest is history.
I hope you now can understand my story, Chaz Galloway and I just wanted to say: I love you with all my heart, all my mind and all of my soul.
Sincerely,
Paula"
Wow, this is a really long letter from her to me about knowing about her past however I now truthfully understand where she is coming from and I wanted to say I also truly love her with all my heart, my mind and my own soul.
My mum had told me every people's life story does have their ups and downs; her parents got their ups and downs in their life and so did Paula furthermore her rarely spoken younger brother as well.
Plus she told me life stories didn't always come with a happy ending; it comes with a brand new chapter just for you to start in your life and although they do have their new chapters in their life however when she moved to Washington State then to Honolulu for years before moving back to Seattle with her dad; this is a brand new chapter in life before she met her ex.
Now she did already got a new chapter in life, she had met me back when we are living together in San Diego.
Anyway, I'd think I got the deeper understanding about her past and now, today is Friday; her manager told her to take the time off from work as a mental health break from working at the UH Manoa Bookstore: I am planning to wake her up by going for a day of surfing together then I can let her choose whatever brunch she likes then for the rest of the day, we can plan on either going to do more surfing or we can go shopping at Ala Moana Shopping Center or just walking around; I guess.
Okay, so I did managed to know her past and this is the story of my girlfriend's story of her past.
Oh dear: I got out of topic by going overboard with all of the other topics except I'd think I got in too deep with going out of the topic on doing this fan fiction and it does feel awkward thus I'm sorry for doing this in many of fan fictions however with so many questions being unanswered in Paula's life as well as her friends too as well therefore I got to go deeper on how their life additionally I decided to add more information thus we can get to know them more better very soon.
Plus this is the longest story I ever done in my whole life plus I can even do a whole lot more turning it into 'a one-shot' writing to be honest.
Anyway; thank you so much for reading this and I know this is a really long writing; however if you find it to be too long; sorry--you can skip this writing to my other writing and I'll be planning to do on more writing except I needed the time off so it depends on how am I doing.
Thank you for reading this Fan Fiction, until next time and good luck. ;-)
